Oh no! The band's at war!
by Bow 2 Me
Summary: What happens when the band starts a war? Read to find out!
1. The war has started

CHAPTER 1- THE WAR HAS STARTED  
  
One day, the FHS Symphonic Band was playing a song when the director, Mr. Reiderer stopped them.  
  
"Tubas you're playing a wrong note," he said.  
  
"I beg to differ!" said Andy, "it's those trumpets I tell you! They're trying too hard to be like us. Them darn wanna bes!"  
  
"Who are you calling a wanna be?" snapped one of the trumpet players. "It was all your fault!"  
  
"Why does everyone blame us?" snapped Andy. "Blame another section."  
  
"Fine," snapped another trumpet player. "It was the clarinets."  
  
The clarient players exchanged the "what are they talking about" look.  
  
"There. Problem solved. Clarinets are so clueless," said Andy.  
  
"I heard that," said Schellen a clarinet player.  
  
"I think that was kinda the point," said Erica.  
  
"Shut up. This is a ab conversation so c your way outta it," said Andy. "Flutes suck."  
  
"What did you just say?" snapped Erica's friend Karyn.  
  
"AAAH! My band's gone crazy!" cried Mr. Reiderer.  
  
Mr. Reiderer ran into the band office and hid under his desk.  
  
"Flutes so do not suck," said Erica.  
  
"And clarinets are not clueless," said Schellen.  
  
"Oh whatever," said Andy.  
  
"Well tuba players aren't intelligent," said Jon.  
  
"And trumpet players are?" said Andy.  
  
"Oh huge diss," said Amanda and Jessica, both French horn players.  
  
"I heard that you unintelligent French horn players," said Jon. "If all the French horns could actually be able to play notes, we'd sound a whole lot better."  
  
Amanda and Jessica looked ready to cry. Meghan a bassoon player stood up.  
  
"Oh shut up," she snapped, "just because you're a rocket scientist doesn't mean you have to brag about yourself. Heck you have nothing to brag about except for telling people you're a great trumpet player cuz you blast above the whole freaking band!"  
  
"Nobody cares about what a bassoon player thinks," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Shut up. No one asked for your lame opinon," Meghan snapped. "And at least I don't sound like a car horn when I play."  
  
"You're right. You do sound like a cow when you play," said the same saxophone player.  
  
"That's not what I said!" Meghan yelled.  
  
"Well at least we don't need support from the low brass," said Jon. "You're pitiful bassoon section wouldn't be able to be heard even if there were only 15 people in band."  
  
"I say we declare war against the flutes and clarinets for the heck of it!" said another trumpet player.  
  
"Well then we the honorable members of the French horn section declare war against the trumpets!" said Christina.  
  
"Well goody for you," said Andy, "cuz I declare war on the other low brass instruments. I can't work with them. They're screwing me up."  
  
"Fine. Since we're all at war here we saxophones of the round table declare war on the bassoons and the bass clarinets," said another saxophone player.  
  
The bass clarinet players looked at each other.  
  
"What did we do?" they asked.  
  
"No one is not fighting in this war," said Andy.  
  
"But we're against violence," one of the bass clarinetists said.  
  
"Oh too bad," said Andy.  
  
Everyone (except for the percussionists who were laughing hysterically) started arguing. Mr. Shaw walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Silence!" he bellowed. "I Mr. Shaw, the great almighty powerful Mr. Shaw demand that you stop the arguing this instant or else you all get detention."  
  
Everyone stopped arguing and got ready to play. Andy glared at everyone.  
  
"The war has started and is far from over," he said. 


	2. I don't mean to point any fingers but it...

CHAPTER 2- I DON'T MEAN TO POINT ANY FINGERS BUT IT WAS ALL THEIR FAULT  
  
The next day, everyone was in a bad mood. It was likely that people would start beating the crap outta each other with their instruments but Mr. Reiderer came in before that could happen.  
  
"Ok take out Into the Raging River," he said.  
  
"I'd like to throw Andy into a Raging River," said one of the trombone players.  
  
"Well I'd like you to burry yourself," said Andy. "That way you wouldn't keep screwing me up."  
  
"Ok what is going on here?" asked Mike another bassoon player.  
  
"Basically Andy got everyone mad and different sections declared war on each other," said Meghan. "The saxophones declared war on us and the bass clarinets."  
  
Mike tried not to laugh.  
  
"Dude I'm serious!" said Meghan.  
  
"We wouldn't lay a finger on the Great Mike though," said a saxophone player.  
  
"And why not?" Meghan asked him.  
  
"Duh you're such an idiot. Of course you wouldn't know the great almighty Mike plays more than one instrument," said another saxophone player. "Mike is a saxophone god. We try to match our lowly playing to that of his phenomenal playing on a daily basis."  
  
"Yeah and you're getting closer and closer every day," Meghan said sarcastically.  
  
"Ok guys break it up," said Mike. "And only wind ensemble members are allowed to say phenomenal."  
  
"The great saxophone god has spoken," another saxophone player.  
  
"Hey Frenchies!" yelled Jon, "be sure you play the right notes today."  
  
"Shut up," snapped Amanda.  
  
"We're playing the right notes you just can't hear us above yourselves," Jessica added.  
  
"That's it! What was I thinking when I decided to be a band director? I'm going home so I the voices in my head can calm me down!" said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
He ran outta the band room. Two more bassoon players, Kaitlyn and Nicole walked in and bumped into him.  
  
"What's going on in there?" Nicole asked.  
  
"The band's gone crazy!" Mr. Reiderer yelled and continued sprinting down the hall.  
  
Kaitlyn and Nicole shrugged and walked into the band room only to have a saxophone mouthpiece chucked at their heads.  
  
"What was that for?" Kaitlyn yelled.  
  
"Sorry you're bassoonists," said a saxophone player, "and we're at war with you."  
  
Andy stood up.  
  
"Since no one's here right now, let's get this battle started!" he yelled.  
  
He grabbed his tuba and attempted to whack one of the trombone players with it. The trombone player pulled out his slide thing and blocked it. At the same time all the trumpets charged at the clarinet and flute players and the French horns snuck behind the trumpets. Kaitlyn and Nicole put their bassoons together and joined Meghan and the bass clarinetists in the fight. Mike and the percussion section started laughing at everyone. The fighting went on and on and on. This was very bad for the instruments.  
  
"My reed broke!" yelled Schellen.  
  
"My flute's bent!" yelled Karyn.  
  
"Oops a valve fell out," said Jon.  
  
"There's someone stuck in my tuba bell!" yelled Andy. "Cool!"  
  
"Get me outta here!" yelled the poor person that was stuck inside.  
  
"Sorry, you're a trombone player and you deserve it," said Andy.  
  
"You know I could stop this whole war thing if I wanted," said Mike walking over to the percussionists, "but it's too funny to watch."  
  
"Yeah and besides we'd stop it not you," one of them said.  
  
"No I would," said Mike.  
  
"No we would," they said.  
  
"No me!" Mike yelled.  
  
"No us!" they yelled.  
  
"Fine. I declare war on you and I'll win!" he yelled.  
  
He grabbed his bassoon and his saxophone and the percussionists grabbed their drumsticks. They started fighting each other. Meanwhile, Andy opened his spit valve and a huge wave of spit came pouring out. In other words the band room was about a foot deep in spit. Unfortunately the principal, Mr. Bauman walked into the band room at the same time Andy opened his spit valve.  
  
"What is going on here?" he yelled.  
  
The fighting stopped instantly.  
  
"You, the tuba player get that person out of your bell," he barked.  
  
Andy and his friend pulled the person out.  
  
"All right who started this?" Mr. Bauman demanded.  
  
"I don't mean to point any fingers but it was all their fault," said Andy pointing to the trombones and baritones.  
  
"Us? You were the one who declared war on us in the first place," one of the trombone players said.  
  
"Well the trumpets were annoying me," said Andy.  
  
"Who us? No no. You got the wrong section," one of the trumpet players said. "It was the clarinets and flutes."  
  
"No it wasn't," they protested.  
  
"I don't care who it was! You guys are all getting phone calls home and detention for eternity and you'll be my slaves for the rest of your lives and you'll have to pay for all the damage you do to the instruments," yelled Mr. Bauman.  
  
He stormed out.  
  
"No no! Don't open the--" Meghan began.  
  
He opened the door and all the spit flooded out into the halls.  
  
"Door," said Meghan.  
  
"No problem," said Andy, "we'll just have to have all our wars outside."  
  
"Oh that's even better," Schellen said sarcastically. "Then everyone will see us!"  
  
"So what? I only care about getting my revenge on the trombones and baritones!" said Andy.  
  
"I'm with you all the way bro!" said Andy's friend, whacking him on the back. ( he'sanother tuba player by the way)  
  
"You'll never get revenge on us! We'll get revenge on you," said a baritone player. "And we'll look good getting it."  
  
"Oh so you're in this war for glory and not revenge?" snapped one of the trumpet players.  
  
"No one asked you," Andy snapped back.  
  
Everyone started arguing. Then the bell rang. Everyone was so mad that they grabbed their instruments and ran outta the band room to do who knows what (except Mike and the percussionists cuz they know when things have gone too far). 


	3. In which the band does who knows what

CHAPTER 3- IN WHICH THE BAND DOES WHO KNOWS WHAT  
  
Andy and his friend ran through the senior wing with their tubas held up over their heads. People looked that them like they were idiots.  
  
"Tuba players are the best!" Andy yelled.  
  
"Listen to my man here," said Andy's friend.  
  
"All right listen up!" said Andy. "Either you say tubas are the best instruments or else."  
  
No one said anything. They all thought he was a crazy sophmore trying to get attention.  
  
"Very well then," said Andy's friend.  
  
They started whacking people with their tubas. In less than 5 minutes everyone became Andy's prisoners. He and his friend stuffed them into their tuba lockers and locked the doors.  
  
MEANWHILE.  
  
The trombone and baritone players walked down the "green hall." They blocked the staircase and the beginning of the hall.  
  
"Halt!" one of the trombone players said. "This hall way is our territory as of right now."  
  
"But my locker's in here!" someone said.  
  
"Oh that's to bad," said a baritone player. "You'll go to your locker when we say it's ok for you to go to your locker."  
  
"Cooperate and no one will have a slide rammed into their knees," another trombone player said.  
  
One of the trombone players started counting the people that were trapped in the hall.  
  
"Ok you 20 people go into room 245," he said pointing. "You 25 people go into room 241. You 27 people go into room 246 and you 23 people go into room 244. Well what are you waiting for? Move! Move Move!"  
  
The people walked to their assigned rooms with a trombone or baritone player following them threating to use their instruments on anyone who refused. When everyone was in their rooms, one of the baritone players got the janitor's keys and locked all of the doors. Then a trombone player stood in front of each of the rooms with the people in them to make sure no one got out and 2 baritone players stood at both ends of the hall to bring people back to their rooms if they did get out (which was very unlikely by the way).  
  
AT THE SAME TIME.  
  
The flute and clarinet players walked into the cafetieria.  
  
"Put your hands in the air!" yelled Schellen pointing her clarinet at everyone.  
  
"Do as she says," said Erica also pointing her flute at everyone.  
  
Everyone put their hands up.  
  
"Attention! You will be our slaves until we say otherwise and do exactly as we tell you. Otherwise we'll have to use our instruments and you wouldn't want that now would you?" said Karyn.  
  
"But there's only like 30 of you so you can only have like 30 slaves. What about everyone else?" someone asked.  
  
"Good question," said Karyn, "we're all allowed to have more than 1 slave. So line up single file and we'll chose who gets who."  
  
After everyone got their slaves, they gave all their books and stuff to their slaves' and forced them to walk them to their locker and carry their books where ever they went.  
  
ALSO.  
  
The trumpet players marched into the gym.  
  
"All right listen up," said Jon, "you're under arrest cuz we feel like arresting you."  
  
"Anyone who refuses will get hit with the trumpet and have valve oil poured into your hair," another trumpet player added.  
  
"So follow us. Your jail awaits," said another trumpet player. "Oh yeah, girls go to the girls' locker room. Jon, lock them in."  
  
Jon followed the girls to the girls' locker room. He locked both doors. The boys walked into the boys' locker room. Then the trumpet players shoved them into lockers and locked each locker. Then they unlocked the girls' locker room and did the same. All of them were pounding on the locker doors.  
  
"My hair's a mess!"  
  
"I need to put on makeup!"  
  
"I'm afraid of small spaces!"  
  
"I'm allergic to darkness!"  
  
"Oh shut up," said Jon.  
  
The trumpet players walked calmly outta the gym.  
  
AT THE SAME TIME AS THE OTHER THINGS.  
  
The French horn players ran around the orchestra room and the chorus room.  
  
"I hearby declare these rooms French horn territory," said Amanda.  
  
"We should take prisoners and have a ransom," added Christina.  
  
"Yes we could rule these rooms and get money," agreed Jessica, "I like it."  
  
Some people walked into the orchestra room. Amanda, Christina and Jessica surrounded them and held their French horns in their faces.  
  
"You're our prisoners," said Amanda. "Drop your books and we'll show you to your cell."  
  
"Anyone who doesn't listen to us will get their head shoved in my bell," said Christina.  
  
The people held their hands up.  
  
"We surrender!" they cried, "please don't hurt us."  
  
Amanda, Jessica and Christina locked them in 1 of the offices in the hallway connecting the ocrchestra room to the chorus room.  
  
"We better start writing that ransom note," said Jessica, taking out a pen and some paper.  
  
ALSO AT THE SAME TIME AS THE OTHER THINGS.  
  
Kaitlyn, Nicole, Meghan and the bass clarinetists walked into the library like they owned the place. Several other students gave them weird looks.  
  
"Oh hi are you here to return a book?" asked the librarian.  
  
"No," said Meghan.  
  
"We're building an army," added Kaitlyn.  
  
"Even though it's against our will cuz we're against violence," one of the bass clarinetists said.  
  
"Well if your building an army you might want to check out How to build an army in 10 days or Less," said the librarian. Then she turned to the bass clarinetists, "and if you're against violence you might want to check out The non-violent Soldier. Good book if I do say so myself."  
  
"No no we don't need to learn how," said Nicole.  
  
Some students laughed.  
  
"Laugh if you will," snapped Kaitlyn, "but we'll see who's laughing once you're in our army."  
  
That made all the students laugh harder. The librarian got aggrivated.  
  
"I give up," she said walking away.  
  
Nicole took her bocal (that's the little metal piece that bassoon players put their reeds on) off her bassoon and tied to a string. Then she waved it back and forth slowly.  
  
"Look at the bocal. You are getting sleepy," she said.  
  
All the students except Meghan, Kaitlyn and the bass clarinetists went into a trance.  
  
"When I snap my fingers you will willingly pledge your loyalty to our army," said Nicole.  
  
She snapped her fingers. "We willingly pledge our loyalty to your army," all the students said.  
  
"Good," said Meghan, "now stay in the library until we need you."  
  
"Yes oh mighty leaders," all the students said.  
  
Meghan, Kaitlyn, Nicole, and the bass clarinetists locked the door and left.  
  
AND FINALLY.  
  
The saxophone players ran around the school, looking for places to take over. Unfortunately for them, all of the places where the most people went were already occupied by other sections.  
  
"This is so totally unfair," one of them yelled.  
  
"How about we lock people in their lockers and write property of the saxophones of the round table on them?" another saxophone player suggested.  
  
All the saxophone players thought it was a good idea so they randomly grabbed people, threw them in their lockers, locked the lockers and wrote PROPERTY OF THE SAXOPHONES OF THE ROUND TABLE on them.  
  
"Our job is done," they proudly exclaimed.  
  
Then everybody (including people from all the other sections) went to class. 


	4. Mike vs the percussion section This won'...

CHAPTER 4- MIKE VS. THE PERCUSSION SECTION. THIS WON'T BE PRETTY.  
  
Mike walked into the band room during his study hall. Unfortunately for him, the percussion section was ready and waiting for him.  
  
"We were beginning to wonder if you were gonna show up," one of the percussionists said.  
  
"Like I wouldn't," said Mike.  
  
He put his saxophone and bassoon together.  
  
"Let's go," he said.  
  
One of the percussionists, Pat, tried to hit him with a drumstick but he ducked and whacked Pat in the knee.  
  
"OW!" he yelled, jumping up and down holding his knee.  
  
"You hurt Pat!" yelled Scott, another percussion player. "Now I'm angry!"  
  
He took a pair of cymbals and crashed them on Mike's head.  
  
"My head's vibrating!" yelled Mike, trying to hit Scott with his bassoon. "My vision is blurry!"  
  
"Good," said Lindsay, another percussion player. "Whatever bad things happen to you I'll be happy about."  
  
Mike tried to hit her with his saxophone and she ducked and threw a xylophone at his head. He ducked and it crashed to the floor. The fighting went on and on and on. Soon the band room was a disaster. Chairs, music stands, and drumsticks/mallets went flying. The percussionists were trying to run Mike over with the piano when Mr. Shaw walked in.  
  
"What in the name of John Williams is going on here?" he yelled.  
  
The fighting stopped instantly.  
  
"It was them," Mike and the percussionists said at the same time, pointing to each other.  
  
"Ok, I'll ask you one more time," said Mr. Shaw. "What's going on?"  
  
"Well," said Mike, "it was horrible. I walked into the band room minding my own business when they insulted me. I told them I didn't want to fight but did they listen? No! I try to be a peace maker and they chase me like mad people!"  
  
"Is this true?" asked Mr. Shaw.  
  
"No it's not," said Pat. "Mike walked in and insulted us. He made the first move and he hit my knee with his bassoon."  
  
"No I didn't," said Mike.  
  
"Yes you did," said all the percussionists.  
  
"Well Mike, there's more of them than you," said Mr. Shaw, "I'm ashamed of you. You're a senior in wind ensemble. I thought that you would have common sense in that head of yours but no I was wrong. Therefore, I'm writing you up."  
  
"Writing me up?" Mike asked, horrified. "You can't do that! I've never been written up in my entire life! I'm well, I'm me!"  
  
"Yes and you're getting detention," said Mr. Shaw.  
  
The percussionists laughed at him.  
  
"What are you laughing at?" snapped Mr. Shaw. "I'm writing you up too."  
  
"What? You can't do that!" said Lindsay.  
  
"I can and I did," said Mr. Shaw.  
  
"But.but.but." Scott protested.  
  
"The great almighty Mr. Shaw has spoken," said Mr. Shaw. "Now go back to your study halls or where ever you came from."  
  
"I'm so getting you back for this," Mike snapped at the percussionists.  
  
"Not if we get you back first," said Pat. "We'll have another battle sometime soon."  
  
"When?" snapped Mike.  
  
"Soon," said Pat.  
  
They glared at each other and left. 


	5. How fighting sections like to annoy each...

A/N- omg I'm such an idiot!!!! I totally forgot about the oboe player. Sry to all you oboists out there. Thanks to ChibiSkunkSaria for the stabing people with oboe reeds idea.  
  
CHAPTER 5- HOW FIGTHING SECTIONS LIKE TO ANNOY EACH OTHER  
  
The next day, everyone felt like annoying the sections they were at war with. All the trumpet players walked up to the front row of clarinets and blasted their trumpets in their faces.  
  
"OW! My ears!" Catherine (obviously a clarinet player) yelled, covering her ears.  
  
"What the heck is going on?" asked Jackie, the oboe player. "I get sick for a few days and the band suddenly goes crazy."  
  
"We're at war with the trumpet section," said Erica.  
  
"Oh I see," said Jackie. "Trumpets are losers."  
  
"I heard that!" said Jon.  
  
He walked up to her and blasted a note on his trumpet really loud in her ear.  
  
"Hey!" she yelled. "If you ever do that again, I'll stab you with my oboe reed!"  
  
Jon blew the trumpet in her ear again.  
  
"That does it! Come here you loser!" she yanked the reed outta her oboe and began chasing Jon around the band room.  
  
"We must save him!" said another trumpet player.  
  
They began chasing Jackie.  
  
"We can't let Jackie fight our war for us!" said Shcellen, "we gotta help her!"  
  
All the flute and clarinet players chased the trumpet players.  
  
"I guess we can't do anything to the trumpets cuz they're already busy," Jessica said sadly.  
  
"Wait! We can sing trumpets suck over and over and over again," said Christina.  
  
"Good idea," said Amanda.  
  
"Trumpets suck! Trumpets suck! You see a trumpet and get 7 years of bad luck! Trumpets suck! Trumpets suck! You see a trumpet and get 7 years of bad luck!" they sang over and over and over.  
  
The trombone and baritone players surrounded Andy and his friend. They pushed their slides at them.  
  
"Trombones rule! Tubas drool!" they yelled opening their spit valves.  
  
Andy and his friend were covered with spit.  
  
"Gross!" he yelled.  
  
He and his friend grabbed their tubas and begain chasing the trombone and baritone players. When Andy ran past where the bassoons were sitting, his tuba accidentally hit Kaitlyn on her head.  
  
"Sorry," he said running after the trombone and baritone players.  
  
The saxophone players pointed and laughed at her.  
  
"Oh shut up," she snapped.  
  
"Ha-ha! You got whacked in the head with a tuba!" they said.  
  
"Yeah and you'll get whacked in the head with a bassoon," Meghan snapped. "Then we'll see who's laughing."  
  
"We're just sitting here, being perfect little non-violent angels," the bass clarinetists said to no one in particular.  
  
"Go ahead. Try it. You probably can't even lift the darn thing," said a saxophone player.  
  
"I bet I can," said Meghan, picking the bassoon up.  
  
She swung it like a baseball bat at a saxophone players head. It hit him right in the back of his head.  
  
"OW!" he yelled. "That hurt!"  
  
"Ha-ha, you got hit in the head with a bassoon!" Meghan, Kaitlyn and Nicole said.  
  
"How very violent," the bass clarinetists said to each other.  
  
The saxophone players got angry and began chasing Meghan, Kaitlyn and Nicole. Meanwhile, Mike and the percussion section were in the middle of an argument. Mr. Reiderer walked into the band room. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him.  
  
"Stop this insanity right now!" he yelled. "I listened to the voices in my head yesterday and they told me to stick my baton in my ear. I don't know why but maybe it'll help."  
  
Mr. Reiderer stuck his baton in his ear.  
  
"Jeez that's sharp," he said, taking it back out.  
  
Everyone stared at him like he was an idiot.  
  
"Now that's more like it. Peace and quiet," he said. "The voices in my head never fail. Now get ready to play."  
  
Everyone sat down and got their music out and for once there was no insanity. That is, until next time. 


	6. Next time has come

A/N- in case you're wondering about all the "prisoners" everyone had they're still locked in where ever they were caught (except for the slaves. The flute and clarinet players chained them to their lockers). We'll get to them in future chapters.  
  
CHAPTER 6- NEXT TIME HAS COME  
  
Mr. Reiderer thought that the band had finally stopped being crazy and started being normal again. Well, he thought too soon. It all started durning a rehearsal the week after the war had started.  
  
"Andy, why aren't you playing?" he asked.  
  
"I'm on strike," said Andy. "Until you get rid of the trombones and baritones I'm not playing."  
  
"Me either," said Andy's friend.  
  
"But we need the trombones and baritones," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"No we don't," said Andy.  
  
With that, Andy and his friend grabbed as much trombones and baritones as they could carry (which was about 2 or 3 for each of them) and threw them out the door. When they came back for a second trip, the people who still had their instruments held them tightly.  
  
"No! There's no way I'm letting a stupid tuba player touch my trombone," one of the trombone players said.  
  
"Give. Me. The. Instrument," yelled Andy.  
  
He took his tuba and whacked the trombone player with it.  
  
"Now Andy, play nice. Hitting people with your tuba is not the solution to the problem," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"Of course it is," said Andy's friend.  
  
"My baritone is outside! In the pouring rain! The poor thing!" one of the baritone players said. "I loved that thing like it was my kid."  
  
"So go get it," snapped Andy. "You have a kid?"  
  
"No, it's an expression you idiot," said the baritone player.  
  
The trombone and baritone players who had their instruments thrown outside went to go get them. While they were outside Andy locked the door.  
  
"Let them get wet. It's not like they'll melt," he said.  
  
Mr. Reiderer threw his baton on the ground.  
  
"That does it! I quit. Maybe there's some way I can get myself fired," he said walking into the band office.  
  
"War time?" asked a trumpet player.  
  
"You bet," said Andy.  
  
He grabbed his tuba and tried to whack the remaining trombone and baritone players with it. Some got hit, others didn't. They began chasing each other around the band room trying to hit each other. Christina, Jessica, and Amanda walked up to the trumpet palyers and began shoving their heads in their French horn bells. Unfortunately for them, they could only get 3 trumpet players' heads in their bells (cuz there were only 3 French horn players). So the remaining trumpets tried to attack the flute, clarinet and oboe players. They chucked reeds and mouth pieces at them so the trumpet players threw their mouth pieces at them. Meghan, Kaitlyn and Nicole were already way into a fighting frenzy with the saxophones and the bass clarinetists were watching the whole thing, talking about how violent it was whenever a saxophone player got whacked with a bassoon or whenever Meghan, Kaitlyn or Nicole got whacked with a saxophone and the percussionists were trying to run Mike over with the piano (again). This chaos went on and on and on until everyone was too tired to fight.  
  
"We shouldn't fight our battles all at once," said Jessica.  
  
"Yeah," Meghan agreed, "it's too hard to see who we're fighting. We could accidentally hit someone in the wrong section."  
  
"Well maybe you wouldn't do that if you didn't get way into a fighting frenzy every time you try to get us," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Well maybe if you didn't keep annoying us, she wouldn't get into a fighting frenzy," Kaitlyn snapped back.  
  
"Are you arguing with me?" snapped another saxophone player.  
  
"I think so," snapped Kaitlyn.  
  
"Quiet!" Andy yelled. "Listen, from now on we don't fight all our battles at once."  
  
"Who died to make you the leader of this thing?" snapped a trombone player.  
  
"I started it so I'm the leader," said Andy. "Case closed."  
  
"No, case not closed," snapped Jackie. "You're so not the leader of this thing. The leader should be a senior, like me."  
  
"Wait here's a better idea. How about there's no leader at all?" Meghan snapped. "That way we'd save ourselves this aggravation."  
  
"I say no," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Did I say you could talk?" Meghan snapped.  
  
"I don't think we should have a leader," said Mike.  
  
"Fine. Listen to the saxophone god," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Wow that was easy," said Mike. "Andy let the trombone and baritone players back inside."  
  
Andy stomped to the door and opened it. The trombone and baritone players that were outside got ready to beat him with their instrumnets but when they saw no one else was fighting they thought otherwise.  
  
"Fine," Andy said to everyone. "There's no leader. Happy?"  
  
Everyone nodded an agreement. For once everyone agreed on something (wow!!!!). Then the bell rang and they all left to prepare for the next day. 


	7. Getting allies

CHAPTER 7- GETTING ALLIES  
  
Schellen, Catherine, Erica and Karyn were sitting in lunch when Jessica, Amanda and Christina walked up to them.  
  
"Hey guys," said Christina. "Me and my fellow French horn players were talking about our hate for the trumpets."  
  
"We don't know anything!" said Schellen.  
  
"Relax," said Christina, "we're not trying to get information."  
  
"Ok," said Schellen.  
  
"We want you to be our allies," said Christina.  
  
"Your allies?" asked Erica.  
  
"Yeah, we can beat the trumpets together," said Amanda.  
  
"Hang on a minute," said Karyn, "me and my fellow flute and clarinet players gotta talk."  
  
Karyn, Catherine, Schellen and Erica huddled.  
  
"What if it's a trick?" asked Schellen.  
  
"No, Jessica's my friend and she wouldn't try to kill me," said Catherine.  
  
"It's a good strategy," said Karyn, "because we'll outnumber the trumpets. But what about Jackie? What if she doesn't agree to this?"  
  
"I say we do it," said Erica. "I'm sure Jackie would be more than happy. Oboe players are always loyal."  
  
Karyn turned to Christina, Amanda and Jessica.  
  
"Ok, we'll be your allies," she said.  
  
They shook hands to make it official. Then they began to make strategies.  
  
MEANWHILE.  
  
The trumpet players walked to the "green hall."  
  
"Halt!" said the baritone player guarding the way in.  
  
"We aren't here to free your prisoners. We'd like to speak with all of you," said Jon.  
  
"Ok," said the baritone player, still not really convinced.  
  
The trumpet players walked into the center of the hall so the people guarding the doors and the other end of the hall.  
  
"We, the undersigned members of the trumpet section want you, yes you to be our allies," said one of the trumpet players.  
  
"What's in it for us?" asked a trombone player.  
  
"You can have our prisoners and our lunch money," said another trumpet player.  
  
"Good deal," said another trombone player. "All right we'll be your allies."  
  
Everyone shook hands with each other and the trumpet players left.  
  
ALSO.  
  
At lunch, Erica, Karyn, Catherine, Schellen, Christina, Jessica and Amanda decided that a good strategy was to get more allies so they decided to look for the bassoon and bass clarinet players. They found them in the library training their prisoners.  
  
"Hey guys what's up?" Meghan asked them.  
  
"Do you guys wanna be our allies?" Jessica asked.  
  
"Sure," said Kaitlyn.  
  
"We need all the help we can get. Those saxophones outnumber us by a lot," added Nicole.  
  
"I still think this whole war is violent," said one of the bass clarinet players.  
  
"Me too," said the other bass clarinet player.  
  
"Look at it this way guys," said Meghan, "we got allies now. With our allies, our prisoners and their prisoners we'll be unstoppable!"  
  
AT THE SAME TIME.  
  
Mike ran into the saxophone players.  
  
"Guys!" he said, "I'm so glad you're here."  
  
All the saxophone players kneeled on the ground.  
  
"Hail the saxophone god!" they all said.  
  
"Please stand up," said Mike. "I need allies. Those darn percussionists outnumber me so bad. Will you be my allies?"  
  
"Yes oh mighty one. We the unworthy members of the saxophones of the round table would be more than willing to be your allies," they all said.  
  
"Thanks," said Mike.  
  
Then he remembered one little detail: THE SAXOPHONES WERE FIGHTING AGAINST THE BASSOONS!  
  
"Shoot," he muttered. "I can't fight against my own section. I'll find some way to stop them."  
  
The saxophone players were walking in the hall when they ran into Andy and his friend.  
  
"Wanna be our allies?" Andy asked them.  
  
"Ok," said one of the saxophone players. "But Mike's with us too. That's not a problem is it?"  
  
"As long as he's not a trombone or baritone player," said Andy.  
  
"Andy! I'm shocked you'd suggest such a thing!" said another saxophone player. "Mike is a saxohpone god! And he also plays the bassoon too."  
  
"I thought you were at war with the bassoons," said Andy's friend.  
  
"We, the saxophones of the round table vowed to never injure our god," said another saxophone player.  
  
"Ok, you got yourselves some allies," said Andy.  
  
They shook hands. And now everyone had doubled the size of their army. Future battles will definitely be quite interesting. 


	8. Some good old fashioned gloating

CHAPTER 8- SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED GLOATING  
  
Meghan, Kaitlyn and Nicole were walking in the hall when they ran into the saxophone players.  
  
"Ready to mess with us?" one of them asked.  
  
"As unbelievable as this may sound no," said Meghan.  
  
"We just wanted to tell you that we have allies and we're so totally gonna kick your butt," said Kaitlyn.  
  
"Booya!" said Nicole, Kaitlyn and Meghan.  
  
"Well, remember Mike?" asked a saxophone player.  
  
"Yeah, wait till he hears that we have allies," said Nicole.  
  
"Oh he has allies," said another saxophone player. "We're his allies."  
  
"No you're not," said Meghan, "you wouldn't be smart enough to come up with the idea of getting them."  
  
"We have an alliance with our saxophone god," said a saxophone player. "And then we the saxophones of the round table made another alliance with Andy and his friend."  
  
"So you turned Mike against us?" Nicole asked.  
  
"Very good," they said.  
  
"Why you--"  
  
Nicole tried to charge the saxophone players but Meghan and Kaitlyn grabbed her before she could get very far.  
  
"Nicole chill pill," said Meghan, "we'll just kick Mike outta our section."  
  
"Yeah we don't need him," said Kaitlyn, "we got the flutes and clarinets."  
  
The saxophone players started laughing.  
  
"You formed an alliance with them?" one of the saxophone players asked, "there's no way they'd stand a chance against us."  
  
"And the horns," said Meghan.  
  
"Ok, maybe you have a better chance, but we the saxophones of the round table will still win," said Mike.  
  
"Wait," said Kaitlyn, "I have an idea."  
  
She, Meghan and Nicole walked away.  
  
A FEW MINUTES LATER. "Form an alliance with us?" asked Pat.  
  
"Yeah we hate Mike. He formed an alliance with the saxophones and the tubas," said Kaitlyn.  
  
"What are you trying to pull?" asked Scott. "You can't fool us. We know you're gonna pretend to be on our side and then tell our strategies to Mike."  
  
"We hate Mike!" Meghan said getting annoyed. "When we get through with him, he'll be able to play the saxophone and the bassoon at the exact same time."  
  
"Look we're bassoon players," said Kaitlyn. "We don't make promises we can't keep."  
  
"I think they're telling the truth," said Lindsay. "I say we give them a chance."  
  
"Ok. We'll be your allies," said the percussionists.  
  
"Well, it's time to go train the prisoners," said Nicole.  
  
She, Kaitlyn and Meghan left.  
  
MEANWHILE.  
  
Andy and his friend walked into the "green hall." Sure enough, the trombone and baritone players were still there.  
  
"Guess what we got that you don't," said Andy.  
  
"A huge wart on your butt?" one of the trombone players said sarcastically.  
  
The trombone and baritone players started laughing.  
  
"No you idiot," snapped Andy. "Allies!"  
  
The trombone and baritone players stopped laughing.  
  
"I hope you'll get used to getting your butts kicked from now on," said Andy's friend.  
  
Andy and his friend turned to go.  
  
"We have allies too," said a baritone player. "We've got the trumpets. They're paying us. So there."  
  
Andy turned around.  
  
"Well, uh we'll still kick your butts," he said, "cuz we got the saxophones and Mike."  
  
"Whatever," said another bariotne player.  
  
Andy and his friend stomped away.  
  
AND LASTLY.  
  
The clarinet, flute and French horn players walked up to the trumpet players. "Oh no! Here come the flutes and clarinets and French horns! Help me mommy!" a trumpet player said sarcastically.  
  
"We have allies and you don't. Ha-ha," said Schellen.  
  
"Oh, but we do," said Jon.  
  
"We've got the trombones and baritones," said Jon.  
  
"Well we the honorable members of the French horn section have agreed to join up with the flutes and clarinets and bassoons and kick your butt," said Amanda.  
  
"You kick our butts? Ha fat chance," said another trumpet player. "We'll see who's butt gets kicked."  
  
The trumpet players walked away. By the end of the day, all the sections had a bad case of sectionalism (pride to their own sections) and great confidence that their section would beat the sections they were fighting with. They thought that now that they had allies, they'd totally dominate. We'll see. 


	9. The challenge

A/N- oops I made a little typo in the previous chapter. For those of you who noticed it, Mike was not supposed to be in it. He was only supposed to be mentioned. Never zone out when you're writing! For those of you who didn't notice, don't bother reading this.  
  
A/N- this chapter only deals with the flute, clarinet and trumpet players just so you know.  
  
CHAPTER 9- THE CHALLENGE  
  
The trumpet players walked up to the lockers of the slaves of the flute and clarinet players.  
  
"Hello," said Jon. "We're here to save you."  
  
"Finally," one of the slaves said. "We are forever in your debt. We'll obey your every command."  
  
"Great," said Jon, "you can help us fight the clarients and flutes."  
  
"Done," said a slave.  
  
"Hurry up and untie us before they come back," said another slave.  
  
The trumpet players untied the slaves and the slaves ran away.  
  
"Haha. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they see that their slaves are free," said a trumpet player.  
  
"Here they come," said another trumpet player.  
  
They ran into the boys' bathroom (cuz obviously they were all guys). The flute and clarinet players and Jackie walked into the hall.  
  
"Where are our slaves?" asked Schellen.  
  
"I knew those horn players were trouble," said Jackie.  
  
"I don't think it was the horns," said Karyn, picking up a mouthpiece. "I think it was the trumpets. This mouthpiece is way too big to be a horn mouthpiece."  
  
"Darn those trumpets!" yelled Catherine.  
  
Several teachers stuck their heads outta their classrooms to see who was making noise.  
  
"Sorry, I got carried away," said Catherine.  
  
The teachers shrugged and walked into their classrooms.  
  
"We gotta make them pay for this," said Erica.  
  
"I know where they keep their prisoners," said Jackie.  
  
"Boy am I glad to have an oboe player on our side," said Schellen. "Jackie you rock. Where are their prisoners?"  
  
"In the locker rooms in the gym," said Jackie.  
  
"Let's go!" said Karyn.  
  
They ran down the stairs.  
  
"Uh-oh," said Jon. "We gotta get to our prisoners before they do!"  
  
A FEW MINUTES LATER.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie ran into the girls' locker room.  
  
"Let us out!" screamed the girls trapped in the lockers.  
  
"Hang on! Lemme get a lock cutter!" said Schellen.  
  
She ran and got the lock cutter and came back. Then she cut off all the locks.  
  
"Thank you thank you thank you!" said the girls who were trapped.  
  
"No big," said Karyn.  
  
"I'll be back. Go into the gym," said Schellen.  
  
She ran into the boys' locker room and cut all the locks off their lockers.  
  
"You can be my girlfriend," one of the guys said when they climbed outta their locker.  
  
"No way dude. She's gonna be my girlfriend," another guy said. He turned to Schellen. "Will you go out with me?"  
  
"Uh." Schellen began.  
  
"Get away from my woman!" yelled another guy.  
  
All the guys started arguing about who was gonna be Schellen's boyfriend.  
  
"Quiet!" Schellen yelled. "You can argue but wait until you're outta the locker room."  
  
The guys walked outta the locker room into the gym. The trumpet players ran into the gym.  
  
"No! We're too late!" Jon yelled.  
  
"Nice going dude," said another trumpet player.  
  
"Payback for what you did to us," said Karyn.  
  
"You totally deserve it," added Catherine.  
  
"That's it! That's the last straw! We challenge you to a battle on the football field at 3:00," snapped Jon.  
  
"Fine," said Jackie. "We're unstoppable cuz we got more allies than you."  
  
"Oh did we forget to mention that you can't use your allies?" said Jon.  
  
"What?! That's not fair!" said Erica.  
  
"Don't worry, we won't be using ours either," another trumpet player said.  
  
"Fine. We accept. We'll be there, but you might not," said Catherine.  
  
"What's that mean?" the trumpet players asked.  
  
The trumpet players' ex-prisoners began to advance on them.  
  
"AAAAH!" the trumpet players yelled as their ex-prisoners began to chase them.  
  
"We'll get you for this!" Jon yelled. "Tomorrow, you are definitely going down!" 


	10. The battle

CHAPTER 10- THE BATTLE  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie were waiting on the football field a 3:00. The trumpet players were no where in sight.  
  
"3:01. They chickened out," said Catherine looking at her watch.  
  
"Ha. I knew it," said Jackie.  
  
"Let's give them a few more minutes before heading inside," another clarient player suggested.  
  
"Good idea," said Karyn.  
  
They waited for a few more minutes.  
  
"They never showed. We win," said Schellen.  
  
They began walking away from the football field when the trumpet players suddenly appeared outta no where.  
  
"Guess again," said Jon.  
  
The trumpet players opened their spit valves and soon the flute and clarinet players and Jackie were covered in spit.  
  
"EW!" they yelled.  
  
One of the trumpet players whistled and the the former slaves of the flutes and clarinets walked behind them.  
  
"Ambushed!" Catherine wailed. "No!"  
  
"Hey no fair!" snapped Erica. "We agreed we couldn't use our allies!"  
  
"Exactly," said a trumpet player, "you couldn't use your BAND allies. Duh."  
  
"We'll we didn't know that," said a flute player.  
  
"Now you do," said another trumpet player. He turned to the former slaves. "Get them."  
  
The former slaves ran at the flute and clarinet players and Jackie. They screamed and ran away.  
  
"Wait! We gotta stand up to them," said Karyn, "we gotta be brave!"  
  
She turned around and charged at the former slaves.  
  
"Come on!" yelled another flute player. "We gotta help!"  
  
Everyone followed Karyn with their instruments held high.  
  
"Check out my cool technology," said Jackie.  
  
She took her reed outta her oboe and put it in a gun type thing. Then she pulled the trigger and 4 reeds shot out and poked one of the former slaves.  
  
"Ew, spitty!" the former slave yelled.  
  
The former slaves turned and ran right outta the football field.  
  
"Dang it!" yelled one of the trumpet players. "Where'd they get the technology?"  
  
"Who needs technology when you got valve oil?" said another trumpet player, dumping his valve oil on the football field.  
  
The trumpet players thought it was a good idea so they all dumped their valve oil on the field. The flute and clarinet players and Jackie ran to the spot where they poured the vavle oil and began slipping in it and falling on each other. When they got up they finally reached the trumpet players and started trying to beat them with their instruments. Soon everyone was running around and spreading the valve oil spill all over the place. This battle went on and on and on.  
  
"Fine," snapped Jon. "We're too tired to keep fighting. We surrender. But it's not over yet."  
  
The trumpet players trudged off the football field in defeat. The flute and clarinet players and Jackie were too exhausted to celebrate. But they did do a little victory dance.  
  
"We did it!" Erica exclaimed.  
  
Karyn looked at all the broken instrument parts that were scattered on the ground.  
  
"Despite all the money that I'll be spending repairs for my instrument it was worth it," she said.  
  
"Let's go to the cafeteria and celebrate," said Jackie. "Sodas are on me."  
  
They may have won the battle, but they're still fighting the war. 


	11. Instrumental and verbal assault

CHAPTER 11- INSTRUMENTAL AND VERBAL ASSAULT  
  
Mike and the saxophone players walked into the band room shortly after the trumpet/flute/clarinet war. No one was there.  
  
"I don't know about this guys," said Mike, "Katie, Nicole, and Meghan won't be very happy about this."  
  
"That's kinda the point," one of the saxophone players said. "Besides they're the ones who negleted you in your little percussion war."  
  
"Oh yeah," said Mike. "And they did throw me outta their section."  
  
"You're our god and our supporter. Now prove that your loyalty," said another saxophone player.  
  
"Ok ok. I'll do it," said Mike. "They deserve it."  
  
"Now you're talking," said a saxophone.  
  
He took out Katie's, Nicole's and Meghan's bassoons and ripped several keys off, broke all the reeds and bent the bocals.  
  
"Man I can't wait to see the looks on their faces," said a saxophone player. "Let's go."  
  
They left. Mike stood around and thought over what he had done. Then he shrugged.  
  
"They deserve it," he said to himself.  
  
Then he left.  
  
THE NEXT DAY.  
  
"What the #@%$ happened to my bassoon?" Nicole yelled. "Look at my bocal! It doesn't even look like a bocal anymore."  
  
"Nicole!" Meghan said in mock dismay, "watch your language. Who ever did this will die. My reeds are busted! Where's my G key?"  
  
"This brand new bassoon cost me $15000! Now it's ruined!" Katie wailed. "No A-flat key, no F key, no pancake key.now how am I supposed to play the low notes?"  
  
Mike walked by them.  
  
"Wow, what happened to your instruments?" asked Mike.  
  
"You hear something?" Meghan asked Katie.  
  
"No," said Katie.  
  
"Looks like they were disembered," said Mike.  
  
"No #@%$," snapped Nicole.  
  
"Hey, chill pill Miss Potty Mouth," said Mike.  
  
"Who would do such a mean thing?" Katie asked almost ready to cry. "This was $15000!"  
  
"Who knows?" said Mike turning away so they wouldn't see the guilt in his eyes.  
  
Meghan noticed.  
  
"Who knows?" she yelled. "I think you do!"  
  
"Me?" Mike asked innocently.  
  
"Yeah you. You and your pathetic saxophone friends snuck when we weren't looking and destroyed our instruments!"  
  
"Who are you calling pathetic?" snapped a saxophone player. "You're section is more smaller than my section so therefore you are definitely more pathetic."  
  
"Are not!" Nicole yelled back.  
  
Several people from other sections stopped what they were doing and began to gather around the bassoon and saxophone players and Mike.  
  
"Fight! Fight Fight!" they yelled.  
  
"Well you're so fat that when you sit around the house you sit around the house," snapped a saxophone player.  
  
"You're so dumb you think a quarterback is a refund," Meghan snapped back.  
  
"You're so stupid your dad asked you to buy a color TV and you said "what color," yelled Mike.  
  
"God made rivers, god made lakes, god made you hey we all make mistakes," snapped Nicole.  
  
"We all have the right to be stupid but you bassoon players abuse it," snapped another saxophone player.  
  
"What hurtful remarks," said one of the bass clarinet players. "How about we quit this war?"  
  
"Good idea," said the other bass clarinet player, "but let's watch the verbal war. Then no one will know that we quit."  
  
"Well you're so dumb--" Katie began.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into band room.  
  
"Who's fighting?" he demanded.  
  
Everybody walked to their seat.  
  
"What did you do to your instruments?" Mr. Reiderer asked Katie, Nicole and Meghan.  
  
"They did it," Nicole said angrily pointing to the saxophone players. "Who them? No, they're intimidating not mean. They wouldn't do that," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"How much did they pay you to say that?" asked Meghan.  
  
"Less than what you guys are going to have to pay for the repair of your bassoons," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"Oh so they did pay you," said Nicole.  
  
"No, I just felt the comment was necessary for the moment," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"But we didn't do it!" protested Katie.  
  
"Honestly why would we destroy our own instruments?" asked Meghan.  
  
"For my attention," said Mr. Reiderer. "Look, I know bassoons are often overlooked in band but you don't have to destroy your instruments. I'd say the damage on your instruments is worth well over $1000. I'll need that money by tomorrow."  
  
"And how are we supposed to do that?" asked Katie.  
  
"I don't know. You figure that out," said Mr. Reiderer walking up to the thing that directors stand on. "Ok everyone take out your music."  
  
"Those saxophones and Mike are gonna wish they'd never been born," Nicole whispered fiercely to Meghan and Katie.  
  
They nodded an agreement. 


	12. The tubas and trombones go at it

A/N- sry I havent updated in a while. Believe it or not I have a life and school work and other stuff to take care of. Anyways here's the next chapter.  
  
CHAPTER 12- THE TUBAS AND TROMBONES AND BARITONES GO AT IT  
  
Andy and his friend walked into the "green hall."  
  
"We challenge you to a fight after school. Winner gets the other person's prisoners," said Andy.  
  
"Name a place and time," said a trombone player.  
  
"Right here at 2:30," said Andy's friend.  
  
"Fine," said a baritone player, "we'll be there."  
  
AT 2:30.  
  
The trombone and baritone players were waiting (with their instruments). Andy and his friend walked into the hall with their instruments.  
  
"Right on time," said a baritone player.  
  
"Let's fight!" said Andy's friend.  
  
The trombone and baritone players' prisoners peeked out through the windows in the doors. They were obviously rooting for the tubas. The tuba players picked up their instruments and began to attempt to whack the trombone and baritone players. The trombone and baritone players either blocked the tubas or got hit. This went on and on and on for a long time. Andy and his friend opened their spit valves and the whole hall was about 1 ½ feet deep in spit. The trombone and baritone players chucked their mouthpieces at Andy and his friend. None of the motuhpieces hit them so everyone attempted to whack each other with their instruments again. The fighting went on and on and on. A teacher walked into the green hall.  
  
"What the heck is going on here?" the teacher yelled.  
  
The fighting stopped instantly.  
  
"It was them," Andy and his friend yelled, pointing at the trombone and baritone players.  
  
"No it wasn't!" they yelled back.  
  
"Whatever," said the teacher. "I'm writing you all up. Now put your instruments away and let those poor people out of those classrooms. They look like they haven't eaten in days."  
  
Everyone did as they were told. When the trombone and baritone players unlocked the doors, all their prisoners ran out into the hall.  
  
"FREEDOM!" they yelled.  
  
They headed for the cafeteria to eat all the food in the vending machines.  
  
"Those darn tubas," muttered a trombone player.  
  
"They'll pay for this," said another trombone player.  
  
Andy and his friend were walking behind the trombone and baritone players.  
  
"This is not over yet!" Andy yelled to them.  
  
"Oh yeah," a baritone player yelled back. "It definitely isn't." 


	13. Plots of revenge

CHAPTER 13- PLOTS OF REVENGE  
  
Meghan, Katie, and Nicole were sitting in the library keeping a close eye on their prisoners. They heard what had happened to the trumpets', clarinets'/flutes', and trombones'/baritones' prisoners.  
  
"We gotta find a way to get even with them," said Meghan.  
  
"Hey, at least we were able to pay for repairs on our instruments," said Nicole. "I think that lemonade stand worked pretty well."  
  
"Yeah, when we put the porn pictures up," said Katie rolling her eyes.  
  
"Hey we had no choice. We had to jump to plan X to get business," said Meghan.  
  
"We shoulda made the saxophones pay for the repairs. It's their fault," said Nicole.  
  
"Oh yeah," said Meghan.  
  
"We should assassinate Mike," said Nicole.  
  
"That's against the law," said Katie.  
  
"You saw what him and his new allies did to your bassoon," said Meghan, "now rise up and take some action."  
  
"You're right!" said Katie.  
  
"Now what can we do with the other saxophone players?" asked Nicole.  
  
"We can start by releasing their prisoners, but let's not do it today. We gotta let them think that what happened in band 2 days ago is not that big of a deal. Then they'll think it's all good between us and we'll spring into action," said Mehgan.  
  
"I'm looking forward to this," said Katie.  
  
"Me too," said Nicole.  
  
MEANWHILE.  
  
"Those darn flutes and clarinets!" yelled Jon.  
  
"We gotta teach them a lesson they'll never forget," said another trumpet player.  
  
"How?" asked another trumpet player. "We can't release their prisoners cuz we already did and we're not ready to have another war with them until our intense training kicks in."  
  
"I know! We can screw up their instruments!" said Jon.  
  
"No, the bassoons already got screwed up so it's nothing new," said another trumpet player.  
  
"We can steal their music and Mr. Reiderer will yell at them tomorrow," said another trumpet player. "Not evil enough," said Jon.  
  
"I know!" said another trumpet player, "we can put superglue on their chairs so their butts will get stuck to them and then we'll shove them in the boys' room and write "I JUST GOT MY BUTT KICKED" on their faces in super-powerful-never-come-off-until-you're-dead-or-maybe-even-later markers!"  
  
"That's brilliant!" Jon exclaimed, "and then we can destroy their instruments."  
  
They agreed to do it sometime soon.  
  
AT THE SAME TIME.  
  
"Those stupid tuba players cost us our prisoners," snapped a baritone player.  
  
"We're gonna get them so bad, it'll be great," said a trombone player.  
  
"How?" asked another trombone player.  
  
"That's a good question," said a baritone player. "We can't shove them into our bells. They're too small."  
  
"Who Andy and his friend?" asked another baritone player.  
  
"No our bells you idiot," snapped a trombone player. "Those prisoners were our pride and joy."  
  
"They still have prisoners! We can free their prisoners and lock Andy and his friend in their band lockers!" said another trombone player.  
  
"Yeah! But let's not do it tomorrow. They'll be expecting revenge. We'll wait until the right time to do it. Until then, don't talk to Andy or his friend or the saxophones because they're Andy's allies," said a baritone player.  
  
Will these plans work or backfire? We'll see. 


	14. The French horns snap

CHAPTER 14- THE FRENCH HORNS SNAP  
  
Usually, French horn players are nice easy going people who hardley ever snap. However they can be driven over the deep end. One day, Christina, Amanda and Jessica were sitting in band when Jon walked up to them.  
  
"Hey Frenchies! Are ya too scared to fight us?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
"No. We can take you and your stupid trumpet section any day," said Christina.  
  
"Yeah right. You wouldn't even show," said Jon.  
  
"Go away. You're annoying," said Jessica.  
  
"The Frechies are scared! The Frenchies are scared!" Jon yelled in a sing- song voice.  
  
"Now Jon that's enough," said Mr. Reiderer walking into the bandroom. "We can't afford to have the French horns dropping out of band because of you."  
  
Jon walked to his seat. He whispered something to the other trumpet players and they all started pointing and laughing at the French horn players.  
  
"Stop pointing and laughing at us!" Amanda yelled.  
  
They pointed and laughed harder.  
  
"I give up! I think I'll go back to my old job as a toilet cleaner at a bowling ally," said Mr. Reiderer walking outta the room.  
  
"I think we should attack them," said Christina.  
  
"Me too," said Jessica. "Should we get the bassoons and clarinets and flutes to help us?"  
  
"No, then they'll think we can't handle things on our own. We gotta do this ourselves," said Christina.  
  
She stood up and held her French horn over her head. Amanda and Jessica did the same.  
  
"CHARGE!" Christina yelled, running toward the trumpets.  
  
"DOWN WITH TRUMPET PLAYERS!" Amanda and Jessica yelled, following her.  
  
They began beating the crap outta the trumpet players with their instruments. The trumpet players were surprised by the attack. They fought back, but almost all of them had got whacked with a French horn so most of them couldn't fight.  
  
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" everyone who wasn't fighting yelled.  
  
The fight went on and on. Eventually the trumpet players got stronger (who knows how) and began to have the better side of the fight.  
  
"Should we call our allies?" Amanda asked, dodging a trumpet.  
  
"Yes!" said Christina.  
  
"This is too exhausting. We're so outnumberd," added Jessica.  
  
"WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS!" Christina yelled.  
  
"Ha-ha! You are pathetic," said a trumpet player.  
  
"Oh shut up," snapped Jessica, whacking the trumpet player with her instrument.  
  
"WHERE ARE OUR ALLIES? HINT! HINT!" Christina yelled.  
  
"They need our help!" cried Schellen.  
  
"Let's go!" said Karyn.  
  
The flute, and clarinet players and Jackie picked up their instruments and joined the fight. Then the fight turned and the French horns began to win.  
  
"JON!" a trumpet player yelled, "WE NEED HELP! CALL THE TROMBONE AND BARITONE PLAYERS!"  
  
"ATTENTION ALL TROMBONE AND BARITONE PLAYERS! WE NEED HELP!" Jon yelled.  
  
The trombone and baritone players weren't very happy to have their game of poker interrupted.  
  
"All right this better be worth it," said a baritone player.  
  
"Yeah, especially since I was winning a lot of money," a trombone player added.  
  
They grabbed their instruments and joined the fight. Eventually, the French horns and the trumpets decided to call the fight a draw since everyone was tired from fighting. Everyone walked back to their seats to catch their breath. Mr. Shaw walked into the bandroom.  
  
"You guys weren't fighting again were you?" he asked.  
  
"No Mr. Shaw," everyone said.  
  
He walked back into his office. The bell rang and everyone left talking excitedly about the fight that had happened that day. 


	15. The bassoons strike back

A/N- I was lookin over the story and in some chapters I noticed that I wrote Kaitlyn instead of Katie. I just wanted to let ya know that Kaitlyn and Katie are the same person.  
  
CHAPTER 15- THE BASSOONS STRIKE BACK  
  
"Remember way back when we got our allies?" Katie asked Nicole.  
  
"Yeah why?" said Nicole.  
  
"Do you think the saxophones believed us when we said we were allies with the horns?" Katie asked.  
  
"I think so," said Meghan. "When we said we were allies with the horns they were like 'oh my god no!' You could so totally tell."  
  
"Let's really form an alliance with them," said Katie.  
  
"I think we kinda are," said Nicole. "We're allies with the flutes and clarinets. I think that the French horn players should imply that we're their allies too."  
  
"Well maybe they didn't imply that," said Katie. "Let's go find them."  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole ran into the orchestra room. Sure enough, Jessica, Christina and Amanda were there.  
  
"Hi," they said.  
  
"Hey I know it's a little late for this but wanna be our allies?" Katie asked them.  
  
"I thought we already were," said Jessica.  
  
"We were already united with you guys through the flutes and clarinets, but yeah we'll be your allies too," said Christina.  
  
"Ok that was easy," said Meghan.  
  
Just then, Mike and his group of saxophone player followers walked in.  
  
"Hi French horn players," Mike said warmly to Jessica, Christina and Amanda. He turned to Katie, Nicole and Meghan. "Bassoon players. Yuck."  
  
"You should talk," Meghan snapped back.  
  
Christina, Amanda and Jessica, sensing confrentation, walked to the other side of the room.  
  
"Look Mike and fellow saxophone players," Katie began, "we got over what happened with our bassoons a few days ago."  
  
She gave Meghan and Nicole a *hint* *hint* look.  
  
"Oh yeah," said Meghan, "it's all good."  
  
"Be glad we're the type of people with a sense of humor," added Nicole. "Really?" asked a saxophone player.  
  
"Yeah," said Katie, Nicole and Meghan.  
  
"You're not mad? After we ruined your instruments and stuff?" Mike asked surprised.  
  
"No, we forgive and forget. Besides we got our instruments back already," said Meghan.  
  
"Well you guys suck," said a saxophone player.  
  
Nicole got up and began to charge them but Meghan and Katie pulled her back.  
  
"That's not part of the plan," Meghan hissed.  
  
Nicole sat down and glared at them.  
  
"We're so gonna get even with you someday," she snapped.  
  
The saxophone players and Mike laughed and walked out.  
  
"Can we start the plan now?" Nicole asked.  
  
"Let's go," said Meghan.  
  
"What plan?" Jessica asked Meghan, Katie and Nicole.  
  
"Long story," Katie told her. "We gotta go."  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole ran outta the orchestra room to the lockers where the saxophone players locked their prisoners.  
  
"Could they make it anymore obvious where they kept their prisoners?" Meghan wondered reading the PROPERTY OF THE SAXOPHONES OF THE ROUND TABLE sign on the lockers.  
  
"In red ink too," said Katie shaking her head.  
  
They ripped the signs off of all the lockers that had the signs on them and broke the locks on the lockers. The people trapped inside climbed out.  
  
"Thank you!" they exclaimed.  
  
"No prob, we're just giving those saxophone players what they deserve," said Meghan.  
  
"Go.what instrument do you guys play again?" one of the prisoners asked.  
  
"Bassoon," said Nicole, Meghan and Katie.  
  
"Go bassoons!" the former prisoners yelled before running away.  
  
"Phase 1 is done. Now on to phase 2," said Nicole.  
  
"No we're not gonna assassinate Mike," said Katie.  
  
"Fine," Meghan and Nicole said sadly.  
  
"We'll set the percussionists out on him," said Katie.  
  
"All right!" Meghan and Nicole said happily.  
  
They ran down to the bandroom. The percussionists were hanging out.  
  
"Sorry to bother you," said Katie.  
  
"What's up?" asked the percussionists.  
  
"We need you to attack Mike and his fellow saxophone followers," said Meghan.  
  
"More like Mike and his fellow saxophone faggots," said Nicole.  
  
Everyone laughed.  
  
"Ok so what's the plan?" asked Pat (a percussionist).  
  
"I'll get the saxophones in here. When I come back you'll be ready and waiting to kick their butts," said Meghan. "So if I were you guys, I'd find the hardest strongest percussion equipment in here."  
  
Katie, Nicole and Meghan set up their bassoons. Meghan grabbed Mike's saxophone and set it up.  
  
"Will you hold my bassoon until I get back?" Meghan asked Katie.  
  
"Yeah," said Katie.  
  
The percussionists ran up to Meghan, Katie and Nicole.  
  
"We're all set," they said.  
  
"Great," said Meghan, Katie and Nicole.  
  
Meghan grabbed Mike's saxophone and ran out in the hall. Sure enough, the saxophone players were there.  
  
"Hey guys!" Meghan yelled.  
  
The saxophone players turned their heads. Meghan waved Mike's saxophone around.  
  
"Hey give that back!" Mike shouted.  
  
He began to chase Meghan, his fellow saxophone followers (or as Nicole would say faggots) followed him. Meghan ran into the locker hall of the bandroom.  
  
"Give that back!" Mike yelled.  
  
"You want it?" Meghan asked.  
  
"Obivously," Mike snapped.  
  
Meghan threw the saxophone at the ground. Keys scattered everywhere and the saxophone was all mangled.  
  
"There ya go," Meghan said, running into the bandroom.  
  
"Nooooooooooo!" Mike wailed kneeling over the remains of his saxophone.  
  
"Don't worry. That was a horrible sax anyway," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Yeah our saxophone god deserves a better sax than that," another saxophone player added.  
  
"Get those bassoons!" Mike yelled.  
  
The saxophone players stormed into the bandroom. Meghan, Katie, Nicole and the percussionists were ready and waiting. The saxophone players and Mike stopped in their tracks.  
  
"Charge!" Katie yelled.  
  
She, Nicole, Meghan and the percussionists charged at the saxophone players and Mike.  
  
"AAAAAH!"  
  
The saxophone players tried to run outta the bandroom but they didn't get very far. Meghan, Katie and Nicole began whacking them with their bassoons and the percussionists began beating them with their drumsticks and various other percussion equipment. The saxophone players and Mike tried to defend themselves but it didn't work very well. Eventually they ran outta the bandroom with the percussion players trying to run them over with a piano with the bassoon players following close behind. 


	16. I just got my butt kicked

A/N- REVIEWS??????? *hint* *hint*  
  
CHAPTER 16- I JUST GOT MY BUTT KICKED  
  
"It was great!" Meghan said excitedly, "we so totally creamed the saxophones! First we beat the crap outta them with our instruments and then we chased them down the hall with the piano. We were so close to running them over, but then the bell rang and the halls got too crowded."  
  
"Go bassoons!" said Karyn, punching the air.  
  
The saxophone players walked into the bandroom with scrapes and bruises all over themselves. Everyone started laughing at them.  
  
"Those darn bassoon players," said Mike.  
  
"If that's not enough oh divine one our prisoners are missing too," said another saxophone player.  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole pointed and laughed at them.  
  
"But we never could've done this without the help of the percussion section," said Katie, "I think we should give them a big round of applause."  
  
Everyone except the saxophone players started clapping. The percussionists smiled and waved from the back of the room. Andy and his friend ran up to the saxophone players and knelt in front of them like they were going to beg.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us you needed our help?" Andy cried. "You could've called my cell number!"  
  
"We feel so awful," Andy's friend added.  
  
"Don't worry about it," said a saxophone player, "we didn't have a phone with us."  
  
"Oh," said Andy and his friend.  
  
The trumpet players were talking in a corner of the room.  
  
"Everyone is talking about the bassoons and the saxophones," said Jon. "I think we should get our revenge today."  
  
"Yeah. They'll never suspect an attack," added another trumpet player.  
  
"We gotta get them in the bandroom 8th period today," said Jon.  
  
"How?" asked a trumpet player.  
  
"I know! We can tell them that the French horns and the bassoons wanna talk about strategies or something," said another trumpet player.  
  
"We can't just walk up and tell them that," said Jon, "then they'll know it's a trap."  
  
"We can write a letter," said another trumpet player.  
  
"Good idea," said Jon. "We should write letters to the bassoon and French horn players too."  
  
He took out a pencil and paper and began writing. Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Are ya gonna run away today?" Andy asked.  
  
"No," said Mr. Reiderer. "I can put up with you guys today."  
  
"We should write that down," said a trombone player.  
  
"Shut up," snapped Andy's friend.  
  
"Sit down and stop talking!" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
Everyone stopped talking and stared at him cuz he never yelled before.  
  
"Mr. Reiderer!" Jessica surprised.  
  
"I can be fierce," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
Everyone sat down and got ready to play. To Mr. Reiderer's surprise, there were no psychopathic outbreaks and everyone was playing really well (for once).  
  
"Ah, music to my ears," he said.  
  
When band was over, Jon slipped a note in Karyn's, Katie's and Christina's lockers and ran away. Karyn opened her locker and found the note.  
  
"Dear flute, clarinet players and Jackie," she read, "would you be able to come down 8th period to discuss battle plans and strategies with us and the bassoon players? We'll bring chips and cookies. Signed, the HMFHS (Honorable Members of the French Horn Section) Christina, Jessica and Amanda."  
  
"What's that?" Erica asked Karyn.  
  
"It's a note from the French horn players," said Karyn, "they wanna discuss battle plans and stretegies with us and the bassoon players 8th period."  
  
All the flute and clarinet players and Jackie gathered around Karyn. They read the note over her shoulder.  
  
"That sounds good to me," said Jackie, "I'll go."  
  
"Me too," said Schellen.  
  
Meanwhile, Katie and Christina found their notes (but their "signatures were from the clarinet/ flute section) and agreed to go. What they didn't know is that the trumpets set up a trap for them 8th period.  
  
8th PERIOD.  
  
"Where are they?" Jon asked. "Was my note convincing enough?"  
  
"Oh stop worrying," said another trumpet player. "Did you put superglue on the chairs?"  
  
"Yeah," said another trumpet player.  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Were are the clarinets and flutes?" Nicole asked. "What are you doing here?"  
  
The trumpet players pushed them in a practice room and locked the door. The French horns walked in and the trumpet players did the same thing to them.  
  
"This is great," said Amanda.  
  
"Man, I can't believe we fell for this," Meghan yelled.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Where are the bassoon and French horn players?" Karyn asked.  
  
"They're gonna be a little late," said Jon. He turned to another trumpet player and whispered, "Roll the piano in front of the room where we locked them."  
  
A trumpet player pushed the piano in front of the room where the French horn and bassoon players were.  
  
"What are you doing?" Schellen asked giving the trumpet player a funny look.  
  
"Getting my exercise," said the trumpet player.  
  
"Have a seat," Jon said, pulling up the chairs that had superglue on them.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie sat down.  
  
"What the?" Jackie yelled.  
  
"My butt's stuck to my seat!" Catherine wailed.  
  
"Suckers!" the trumpet players yelled as the flute and clarinet players and Jackie tried to get up.  
  
"No fair!" Erica wailed.  
  
"All's fair in love and war," said Jon, "and this is definitely war."  
  
The trumpet players got the flutes and clarinets and Jackie's oboe outta the locker room and tied their hands with the cleaning swabs in the cases so they wouldn't be able to get outta their chairs even if they did get unstuck.  
  
"This is kidnapping!" Karyn yelled as her hands were tied.  
  
"No it's not," said a trumpet player.  
  
Then the trumpet players took the clarinets, flutes and oboe and broke them.  
  
"Noooooo!" the flute and clarinet players and Jackie wailed.  
  
The trumpet players laughed.  
  
"Now for the super-powerful-never-come-off-until-your-dead-or-maybe-even- later markers," said Jon.  
  
"The what?" Erica yelled.  
  
"Um, I went to the store yesterday and I couldn't find super-powerful-never- come-off-until-your-dead-or-maybe-even-later-markers," said a trumpet player, "but I did find super-powerful permanent markers."  
  
"That still works," said Jon.  
  
He took out the permanent markers and wrote I JUST GOT MY BUTT KICKED on the flute and clarinet players' and Jackie's faces. Then they dragged the chairs into the boys' bathroom where boys laughed at them for the rest of the day. Eventually, a teacher walked into the boys' room and found them and got them outta the chairs. They went home humiliated and upset, dreading band the next day. 


	17. In which the trombonesbaritones plan bac...

CHAPTER 17- IN WHICH THE TROMBONES/BARITONES PLAN BACKFIRES  
  
The next day in before band started, the trombone and baritone players walked into the bandroom and found Andy's and his friend's prisoners in the tuba lockers.  
  
"What do you want?" they cried.  
  
"Too free you," said a trombone player.  
  
"Really?" they asked.  
  
"Yeah," said the trombone and baritone players.  
  
One of the trombone players yanked on the lock of one of the lockers until it broke and did the same to the other lockers. The prisoners ran outta the lockers and outta the bandroom.  
  
"Now we have to wait for Andy and his friend," said a trombone player.  
  
The bell rang and people began arriving for band. Andy and his friend went straight for the tuba lockers.  
  
"Where are our prisoners?" Andy snapped.  
  
"Oh, didn't we tell you? We let them go," said a baritone player.  
  
"Noooooo!" Andy's friend wailed.  
  
"Easy there," said Andy, "don't let them see you cry."  
  
Andy's friend wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.  
  
"Ok," he said between sniffles.  
  
"You evil trombone and baritone players deserve to die!" Andy yelled.  
  
"I know we do," a trombone player said smugly.  
  
Then outta no where, Andy and his friend shoved them into Andy's tuba locker and locked the door.  
  
"I always bring a spare lock," said Andy's friend.  
  
"No fair! You sprung without warning! That was not part of our revenge plot!" a baritone player yelled.  
  
"Well your revenge plot just backfired," said Andy.  
  
Then he and his friend stood on chairs.  
  
"Everyone!" Andy's friend yelled. "We just trapped the trombone and baritone players! Don't tell Mr. Reiderer!"  
  
Everyone but the trumpet players started laughing. The trumpets were the trombone and baritone players' allies. Andy's friend forgot that little detail. Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Settle down!" he said.  
  
Everyone sat in their seats. Mr. Reiderer looked at the big gap in the back of the room.  
  
"Where are all the trombone and baritone players?" he asked.  
  
Everyone but the trumpet players tried not to laugh.  
  
"Well?" asked Mr. Reiderer waiting for an answer.  
  
"Andy and his friend know," said Jon.  
  
"Andy where are the trombone and baritone players?" asked Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"I dunno," said Andy.  
  
"Me either," said Andy's friend.  
  
"I know where they are," said a trumpet player, "they're locked in a tuba locker. Andy and his friend did it. I saw them."  
  
"Andy!" Mr. Reiderer yelled. "Go get the trombone and baritone players. Then go see Mr. Shaw for your punishment."  
  
"Yes sir," Andy mumbled.  
  
"You too," said Mr. Reiderer looking at Andy's friend.  
  
"Darn it," Andy's friend mumbled.  
  
They got up and got the trombone and baritone players. Then they walked to the office to wait for Mr. Shaw.  
  
"Well this plan was horrible, but we'll get them next time," said a trombone player.  
  
Then they got ready to face the humiliation from the teasing of other band members for the rest of the day. 


	18. Who's coming to our school?

A/N- this chapter gives people more reasons to argue cuz I'm dragging a celeberty into the 2 chapters (maybe more but I'm not sure yet) and they'll want another person fighting for their section. REVIEWS WOULD BE NICE!!!!!!!!!  
  
CHAPTER 18- WHO'S COMING TO OUR SCHOOL?  
  
Mr. Reiderer called all the members of symphonic band to a meeting 7th period. He said it was very important. Everyone thought he found out about the war they were having. They knew he knew about the outbreaks, but they didn't know he just thought that they happened cuz of teenage hormones. Fourtunately he didn't know and the meeting wasn't about that.  
  
"Ok people," said Mr. Reiderer, "Frontier has decided to let a celeberty come and spend a few days at the school. Mr. Bauman has given me permission to let the band pick the celeberty because he wants to show him or her what fine musicians we have. Who knows? Maybe one of you will get an agent or something. Any suggestions?"  
  
"Mel Gibson!" Karyn yelled.  
  
"Yeah he's all right," Schellen agreed.  
  
"No way! He's stupid and I hope he jumps off a bridge," Meghan declared.  
  
Many people agreed.  
  
"Ok not Mel Gibson," said Mr. Reiderer. "Any other suggestions?"  
  
"Britney Spears!" Andy yelled.  
  
"Oh yeah! She's hot!" most of the boys agreed.  
  
"Heck no. She's a slut and a fake," said Christina.  
  
"Hey, be nice," said Mr. Reiderer. "Any more suggestions?"  
  
"Beyonce Knowles!"  
  
"Shakira!"  
  
"Heath Ledger!"  
  
"J. Lo!"  
  
"Kelly Clarkson!"  
  
"Justin Timberlake!"  
  
"Josh Hartnett!"  
  
"Eminem!"  
  
"No, not Eminem," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"This is so stupid," Katie said to Meghan and Nicole.  
  
"Yeah no one will agree on anyone," said Meghan.  
  
"Christina Aguilera!" Nicole yelled.  
  
"What about that Zero kid from Holes?" Amanda suggested.  
  
"Khleo Thomas?" Jessica asked.  
  
"Oh that's his name," said Amanda. Then she raised her voice. "Khleo Thomas!"  
  
"Who the heck is he?" asked Andy.  
  
"He was Zero in Holes," said Amanda.  
  
"No! His hair is so big it won't even fit in the school," said Andy.  
  
"Shut up! He's adorable!" Meghan yelled.  
  
"You think he's hot?" Andy asked.  
  
"No, he's cute not hot," said Meghan.  
  
"People, people, people! We have to pick a celeberty and we have to pick one now! Let's settle down and decide pleasently," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"I know! Avril Lavinge!" Meghan yelled.  
  
"Hayden Christensen! He makes it worth while to watch a 2 hour Star Wars movie. He's hot!" said Erica.  
  
"He's old," said Jon.  
  
"He's 22. That's not old," said Nicole. "But he's definitely hot!"  
  
"I say Hayden!" Karyn declared.  
  
"I say no," said a trombone player.  
  
"Yeah me too," said several other guys.  
  
"I give up," said Meghan.  
  
"Me too," said Katie, "hey did you watch Everwood yesterday?"  
  
"Yeah that's like my favorite show. Why?" asked Meghan.  
  
"Everwood is a good show," said Erica overhearing Meghan's and Katie's conversation, "but what does that have to do with picking a person?"  
  
"There's like a ton of hot guys on that show!" Katie said excitedly, "we can pick one of them!"  
  
"Oh yeah, Treat Williams and Mike Erwin are sooooooo hot," Meghan said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Mike Erwin is not that bad looking," said Erica.  
  
"You're right. He's not bad looking, he's nasty looking," said Meghan.  
  
"You guys are missing the point," said Katie, "I was thinking more along the lines of Greg Smith."  
  
"OMG! He's soooooo hot!" Erica and Meghan yelled. "That's a great idea!"  
  
"What? What's a great idea?" Karyn and Schellen asked, hearing Meghan and Erica yell.  
  
"Katie has the ultimate idea for the celeberty person," said Erica.  
  
"Who?" Karyn and Schellen asked excitedly.  
  
"Greg Smith," said Katie.  
  
"Yeah that's like the best idea!" said Schellen jumping up and down. "I'll spread the word!"  
  
Schellen ran around the room yelling like a maniac.  
  
"I think your suggestion is dumb," said a saxophone player.  
  
"You're jealous cuz you didn't think of it," said Meghan.  
  
"Yeah," Erica chimed in, "and Greg Smith is a total sex-a-go-go."  
  
"No, he's a total sex-a-no-no," said Mike.  
  
Meghan and Erica began to argue with him, but Katie interrupted.  
  
"Forget about them," she said. "They're immature."  
  
The saxophone players made faces at them.  
  
"Ok, since the majority of you want Greg Smith to come to our school, then he'll come to our school," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"No, the majority of the girls want him to come to our school," said Andy.  
  
"I don't care! It's decided and that's it," said Mr. Reiderer. "Now talk amongst yourselves while I contact his agent."  
  
Mr. Reiderer left.  
  
"Greg's gonna help us fight," Andy and his friend declared.  
  
"Not if we get him to fight for us," said a trombone player.  
  
"Yeah right," said Mike, "everyone knows that famous people dig saxophone players."  
  
"Yeah," said the other saxophone players.  
  
"No way," said Katie, "bassoon players are the best so therefore we deserve the best and Greg is the best so we get him."  
  
"We don't have to worry about this cuz we're not fighting," said the bass clarinet players.  
  
"Scaredy-cats," said Mike overhearing them.  
  
"We're not scared, we're just against violnece," the bass clarinet players said.  
  
"Yes, bassoons are good instruments but I think we should get Greg cuz we have small instruments," said Karyn.  
  
"No!" the trumpet players yelled. "We get him cuz we said so!"  
  
"Yeah right," said Christina, "we the honorable members of the French horn section all agree that we get Greg cuz we don't have a lot of people in our section."  
  
"Well that's your fault," said Jon.  
  
Everyone started agruing about which section Greg would fight for. It's amazing that within the short time period of 40 minutes, everyone has another new reason to argue. 


	19. Turned Down

A/N- sry I haven't updated in a while. I kinda got grounded from the computer for "talking back" to my mom but I think she just said that cuz she doesn't want me to be a happy child. Anways I don't own Greg Smith :'( and I don't know what he's like so I'm just guessing.  
  
CHAPTER 19- TURNED DOWN  
  
"OMG!!! He's here!" Erica squealed to Meghan, Schellen and a bunch of other girls walked down to the bandroom before 1st period.  
  
"Already?" asked Schellen.  
  
"Toronto ain't that far away," said Meghan, glancing at the window that showed the inside of the band office. "OMG THERE HE IS!"  
  
They ran to the window and pressed their faces against it.  
  
"Hello Greg, I'm Mr. Reiderer and I'm one of the band directors here," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"I'm Mr. Shaw. The great almighty powerful Mr. Shaw. I help keep Mr. Reiderer's band in order," said Mr. Shaw. "And right now it's time for my coffee. See you later."  
  
"Uh, yeah. Have fun," said Greg.  
  
"I printed up these sheets about our wonderful music program," said Mr. Reiderer, giving a bunch of sheets to Greg.  
  
Greg began reading one of the sheets.  
  
"This is really interesting," he said.  
  
"What? They weren't supposed to be," Mr. Reiderer said.  
  
"Hi Greg welcome to band. Beware of Andy (the tuba player), Mike (the saxophone/bassoon player) the saxophone players and the trumpet players. They are strange and have issues. Hope you like our band," Greg read.  
  
"I didn't write that," said Mr. Reiderer. "I bet it was the woodwind players. They're a little jealous that their instruments aren't made of brass."  
  
"I see," said Greg.  
  
"I have to get some music. I'll be right back," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
He walked outta the office. Greg looked out the window and saw a bunch of girls smiling stupidly at him. He smiled and waved at them. They smiled and waved back. Then they left. Then Mike stumbled into the office with his saxophone, drunk.  
  
"That was some party!" he said happily. "Wassup dude?"  
  
"Maybe you should go home? You can't even walk straight and I don't want you throwing up on me," said Greg.  
  
"I promise I won't. Did you know that I have 6 toes?" said Mike.  
  
"Uh no," said Greg, looking at him like he was an idiot.  
  
"Do you wanna see?" Mike asked excitedly.  
  
"Not really," said Greg.  
  
"I love polka dots. They're so hot. So are boxers. I never sleep in boxers. I always sleep in the nude in case you were wondering. Hey wanna know a secret?" Mike asked.  
  
"Sure," said Greg, not really sure what to think.  
  
"Come closer," said Mike.  
  
"I'd rather not," said Greg.  
  
"Ok. My secret is....I'm gay," said Mike, "no one knows!"  
  
"And who's your boyfriend?" Greg asked.  
  
"My dad!" Mike yelled. "I like you too. Come here baby."  
  
"Don't hit on me. I hope you pass out soon," said Greg.  
  
"I'm not hitting on you, I love you dude! I'm hopelessly devoted to you," said Mike.  
  
He began singing "Hopelessly Devoted" from Grease. Greg was trying not to laugh at Mike's stupidity.  
  
"Want me to play you a song on my saxophone?" Mike asked.  
  
"Ok," said Greg.  
  
Mike held the saxophone like he was gonna play, but it he was holding it upside down. He held the bell up to his mouth and blew into it.  
  
"Hehe. This saxophone isn't working. Maybe it's turned off," said Mike. "Where's the bloody switch?"  
  
"You're holding it upside down," said Greg.  
  
"Are you arguing with me?" Mike yelled.  
  
"No, I'm just pointing out your stupid mistake," said Greg.  
  
"YOU'RE ARGUING WITH ME!" Mike yelled.  
  
He began to run at Greg, waving his saxophone around wildly. Greg saw a saxophone on a desk so he grabbed it and held it in front of himself.  
  
"Get away from me!" he yelled.  
  
Mike suddenly stopped running and passed out. Then the saxophone players walked into the office and saw Greg standing over Mike, still holding the saxophone. The saxophone players stared at him with poker faces.  
  
"Uh, I can explain," said Greg.  
  
"He has beat our saxophone god in a saxophone duel," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Tis the new god of the saxophones of the round table!" another saxophone player exclaimed.  
  
The saxophone players got on their knees and began worshiping Greg. Then they put on hula skirts and painted their faces. They did a little dance.  
  
"What are our orders oh mighty one?" a saxophone player asked.  
  
"Get rid of him," Greg said pointing to Mike who was still passed out on the ground. "I don't want him trying to hit on me again."  
  
The saxophone players picked Mike up and locked him in a practice room.  
  
"He should be passed out for the rest of the day," said a saxophone player.  
  
"We need your help oh great powerful one," said another saxophone player.  
  
"Ok, what's the problem?" Greg asked.  
  
"We're fighting a war with the bassoons, but they're allies with the French horns, flutes and clarinets. We're allies with the tubas. We could use another person," said a saxophone player.  
  
"You're fighting a war with the bassoons?" Greg asked trying not to laugh.  
  
"Please fight for the saxophones of the round table! We're very outnumbered! You're our last hope!" a saxophone player begged.  
  
"I don't know," said Greg, "I didn't meet people from other sections yet."  
  
"You won't like them," the saxophone players said. "Fight for us! Please?"  
  
The saxophone players ran over to Greg and wrapped their arms around his legs. That was their mistake.  
  
"No way! I'd never fight for you guys and I don't wanna be your saxophone god anymore. You can have the drunk guy back. So you can stop hugging my legs now," said Greg.  
  
The saxophone players let go of him and watched him walk outta the office.  
  
"I can't believe he turned us down!" a saxophone player said. "What did we do wrong? Was the worshiping a little too weird?"  
  
"Yeah I think so," said another saxophone player.  
  
Then the saxophone players went to 1st period feeling sorry for themselves. 


	20. Greg's decision

CHAPTER 20- GREG'S DECISION  
  
"Omg Jessica did you see Greg yet? He's hot on the TV but he's soooooooo much hotter in person!" Meghan said excitedly to Jessica.  
  
"I hope he fights for our section," said Jessica.  
  
"No way. He's fighting for us!" Jon declared.  
  
"Whether you like it or not," another trumpet player added.  
  
"I heard stupid Mike tried to hit on him so he refused to fight with the saxophones," said Meghan.  
  
"That's excellent!" said Amanda.  
  
"Amanda! MIKE TRIED TO HIT ON HIM! That's not excellent," said Meghan. "That's horrible."  
  
"Maybe Mike was drunk," said Jessica. "I saw him passed out in a practice room."  
  
"Haha what a loser," said Meghan.  
  
"Well whatever, at least Greg's not fighting for the saxophones," said Jon.  
  
"Who said he's fighting for you?" Meghan snapped.  
  
"I did!" said a trumpet player.  
  
"Yeah right," said Schellen, "we're so getting Greg."  
  
"No you're not!" another trumpet player yelled.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and the trumpet players had a fight. The French horn players eagerly joined in. Katie, Nicole and Meghan joined in to help their allies, the saxophone players joined in because they felt it was their responisbility to beat the crap outta the bassoon players and Andy and his friend joined in to help the saxophones. The only people not fighting were the bass clarinetists ("How very violent," they said), the trombone and baritone players and the percussionists. Mr. Reiderer and Greg walked into the bandroom.  
  
"What's going on here?" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
Everyone (who was fighting) stopped fighting each other.  
  
"Now that's more like it," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"Greg fights for us!" Andy and his friend yelled.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Reiderer asked.  
  
"No way! He's fighting for us!" snapped the trombone and baritone players.  
  
"No! We get him!" Erica declared.  
  
"I think that we the honorable members of the French horn section should get him," said Christina.  
  
"Look, how many times do I have to tell you that bassoon players are the best and therefore we deserve the best and Greg is the best so we get him?" Katie asked annoyed.  
  
"Bassoons are not the best and therefore you don't deserve the best. Trumpets are the best so we get him," snapped a trumpet player.  
  
"We're outta this discussion. Greg already decided not to fight for the saxophones of the round table, even though we're better than everyone else," the saxophone players said sadly.  
  
"Everyone shut up!" Mr. Reiderer yelled. "There shall be no more talk of fighting in this band. That is a total violation of law #21 in the 36 laws of concertism! What do I always tell you?"  
  
"We are a peaceful band and there shall be no talking or thinking of war," all the band members said.  
  
"Right," said Mr. Reiderer. "Now, we shall recite the 36 laws of concertism to Greg to show him how outsanding you guys are."  
  
"I'd rather hear you guys play something," said Greg. "That's why I came."  
  
"No, no I insist. This is the only way to show you how smart people are," said Mr. Reiderer. "Once you understand the concepts of concertism, you will be able to play or listen to people play. Ok guys, let's start!"  
  
"Ok," said Andy. "Law #1: Greg fights for us and not the trombones and baritones."  
  
"No no no!" said Mr. Reiderer, "that's wrong!"  
  
"Law #2: We have the exclusive right to kick Andy's butt," said a trombone player.  
  
"Law #3: Law #2 has been overruled," said Andy.  
  
"Law #4: Law #3 has had a 2/3 vote and is no longer overruled," said a baritone player.  
  
"That's enough!" yelled Mr. Reiderer. "I quit! All of you can stay after school and write the 36 laws of concertism 36 times each!"  
  
"That's 1296 times!" said Jon.  
  
"Exactly," snapped Mr. Reiderer.  
  
He walked into the office and slammed the door. Then everyone (except the bass clarinet players, the saxophone players and the percussionists) ran up to Greg and began yelling different things at the same time.  
  
"Fight for the flutes and clarinets!" yelled Karyn.  
  
"Trumpets! Fight for the trumpets!" the trumpet players yelled.  
  
"No. He's ours! Fight for us Greg!" Andy and his friend yelled.  
  
"No you don't! We're better! Greg's fighting for us!" the trombone and baritone players yelled.  
  
"No you're not!" Andy's friend yelled at them.  
  
Soon, a fight between Andy, Andy's friend and the trombone and baritone players broke out. The saxophone players joined in to help Andy and his friend, and the trumpet players joined in to help the trombone and baritone players. Meanwhile, Meghan, Katie and Nicole wrote stuff on the blackboard that favored bassoons (BASSOON PLAYERS ARE THE BEST, FIGHT FOR US. BASSOON PLAYERS RULE THE BAND AND WE'D BE WILLING TO SHARE OUR POWER WITH YOU. etc) and the French horn players were on their knees in front of Greg, begging him to fight for them and the flute and clarinet players and Jackie were parading around the room waving banners that said FLUTES CLARINETS AND OBOES ARE THE BEST.  
  
"Hey guys!" Greg yelled.  
  
Everyone stopped what they were doing.  
  
"I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about this whole band war thing. Give me a few days to make my decision," he said.  
  
"Oh ok," everyone said and went back to their seats and got ready to play.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked back into the bandroom.  
  
"Wow you're good," he said to Greg. "How'd you keep them so well behaved?"  
  
"I have my ways," said Greg.  
  
"Ok guys, let's play," said Mr. Reiderer raising his baton.  
  
A FEW DAYS LATER.  
  
"Greg's deciding which section he's fighting for today!" Karyn said to Erica. "I have a feeling that it will be our section."  
  
"Yeah right," said Jon, "everyone knows that trumpet players are the loudest instrument in band so Greg will definitely fight for the trumpets."  
  
"No one asked you," Christina snapped to Jon.  
  
"Besides, Greg is so fighting for us," said Amanda. "I hear he likes French horn players."  
  
"Who told you that?" a trumpet player asked.  
  
"I told myself. It gives me more confidence," said Amanda.  
  
"Well then it'll be a real bummer when says he's gonna fight for the bassoons," said Meghan.  
  
"Cuz bassoon players are the best and therefore we deserve the best and Greg is the best so we get him," said Katie and Nicole.  
  
Andy and his friend snorted. "We'll see who's the best when Greg says he's gonna fight for us," said Andy.  
  
"Yeah," said Andy's friend.  
  
"Greg would never go near you," said a trombone player, "what makes you think he'll pick you?"  
  
"Trombone and baritone players are better than tuba players after all," said another trombone player.  
  
"We don't care who he fights for. He hates us," said the saxophone players, who were still in their depression about Greg not fighting for them.  
  
"Was I really that bad?" Mike asked, embarrassed about the whole drunk thing.  
  
"Yeah, so are you really gay with your dad?" a saxophone player asked.  
  
"WHAT?! NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO FIND THAT OUT!" Mike yelled. "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?"  
  
"You told Greg that when you were drunk," said a saxophone player. "We heard the whole thing, but we didn't see anything."  
  
"You really are an idiot Mike," said Meghan trying hard not to laugh. "This is exactly why Greg is gonna fight with me and Katie and Nicole and not with you or your saxophone followers."  
  
"We don't really care who Greg fights for cuz we're not involved in this band war anymore," one of the bass clarinet players said.  
  
Everyone started arguing. Greg walked into the bandroom and everyone stopped talking immediately.  
  
"I don't mind the fact that everyone's fighting over me, but I decided that I'm not gonna fight in this band war at all," said Greg.  
  
"WHAT?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Andy yelled.  
  
"Sorry, but I have a rep. (reputation) to protect and if I fight in a band war then my rep. will be ruined," said Greg. "Besides, I gotta go back to Canada today. Bye."  
  
He walked out of the bandroom.  
  
"That's just great! All that for nothing!" Jon yelled.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Ok guys get ready to play," he said. "Oh, I just remembered something. A few days ago, I told everyone to stay after school and rewrite the laws of concertism but you didn't. So now you'll do it today during 5th period."  
  
"Aw man," everyone complained.  
  
5th PERIOD.  
  
Everyone was in the bandroom miserably writing the 36 laws of concertism 36 times each. "Today was the worst day of my life," Jon mumbled.  
  
"This sucks," said a saxophone player.  
  
"My hand hurts," Andy complained.  
  
"Keep writing everybody!" Mr. Reiderer said, sitting in a lounge chair sipping a glass of punch.  
  
*In case you're wondering what the 36 laws of concertism are, read this*  
  
The 36 laws of Concertism  
  
You shall love band. Pray to the gods of your section. The principal player and only the principal player can lead the group in group prayer. If you play multiple instruments worship them all and not your favorite instrumet. All must mourn on Fridays because it is the end of band for the week. The day of worship is Monday. Do not put any other band god before your own. All must worship the band director's god for the deity is above all the rest. Respect all other players. Help your fellow band members. Bring new members into concertism. Practice 20 minutes 5 days a week at least and worship the circle of 4th's. Some time must be spent practicing over weekends. Always strive to get better. The closer to first chair you are, the closer you are to the gates of the stars. Keep instruments well maintained. Keep intstruments in tune. If the instrument gets damaged beyond repair a special burning of the instrument ritual must be held to honor the good instrument. The owner of the damaged instrument and only the owner of the damaged instrument may lead the ritual. Name your instruments. Believe each instrument has a soul. Peace is mighty and a good thing. No foreign language is needed, speak the language of music. Composers shall be held next to the gods. Everyone must obey conductors. Do not disfigure instrument cases. Treat your instrument as you wish to be treated. No one section is better than another. Work to learn new instruments as well as your own. Classical music is prayer music. Meditate before warming up. Listen to all kinds of music to broaden your horizions. Travel for a band group at least once in your lifetime. Pilgrimage to Italy for the heritage of musical words. Be proud of the name band geek or band nerd (aka band nerk) Respect other band members. Compose your own piece to understand the works of your instruments melodies. *my friend and I made these up cuz we're crazy and had nothing better to do so I won't take all the credit* 


	21. The fight in the library

CHAPTER 21- THE FIGHT IN THE LIBRARY  
  
The saxophone players and Mike were getting desperate. They needed more allies, the tuba players just weren't enough.  
  
"We need more allies to help us fight!" Mike declared to his fellow saxophone followers.  
  
"Where are the bassoon players prisoners?" a saxophone player asked.  
  
"I know!" said Andy walking up to them. "In the library. I feel that I have the right to tell you this stuff cuz we are allies after all. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some planning to do."  
  
Andy walked away.  
  
"Come on! We've got some bribing to do," said Mike.  
  
They walked up to the library and found the bassoon players prisoners hypnotized.  
  
"Those darn bassoons!" a saxophone player yelled.  
  
"Quiet! This is a library!" yelled the librarian, blowing her whistle.  
  
"Sorry," said Mike. Then he lowered his voice. "We gotta get those people unhypnotized."  
  
"How?" asked another saxophone player.  
  
"What are you doing here?" a voice said from behind the saxophone players and Mike.  
  
The saxophone players and Mike turned around and saw Katie, Meghan and Nicole standing behind them.  
  
"Get away from our prisoners!" Nicole yelled.  
  
"They won't help you. We're controlling them. They only obey us," said Meghan.  
  
"What is the unhypnotizing word or phrase?" a saxophone player asked.  
  
"You weren't supposed to go straight forward and ask you ding-ding," snapped Mike.  
  
"It's a secret, and besides if we did tell someone it would so not be you," said Katie.  
  
"Look, they're so stupid! I bet they don't even remember the word," said Mike laughing.  
  
"We so do remember the phrase! We're not idiots!" Nicole yelled. "It's saxophone players are big fat losers who need a life."  
  
The hypnotized prisoners became unhypnotized.  
  
"What are we doing here?" they asked.  
  
"Saxophones suck," said Katie.  
  
The prisoners became hypnotized again. "Saxophone players are big fat losers who need a life," said Mike.  
  
Katie, Meghan and Nicole started laughing. The prisoners became unhypnotized again.  
  
"I'll take that as a confession," said Nicole, laughing.  
  
"Saxophones suck," said Meghan in between laughs.  
  
The prisoners were hypnotized again. Then the saxophone players unhypnotized them, then the bassoon players rehypnotized them, the the saxophone players unhypnotized them, then the bassoon players rehypnotized them. This went on for well over half an hour.  
  
"Hey I have an idea! Let's fight. Winner takes the prisoners, loser gets nothing," said Mike.  
  
"Fine," said Katie. "Good thing we bought our instruments with us just in case of any unpleasant confrontation."  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole set up their instruments and the saxophone players ran down to the bandroom to get their instruments when they came back, Meghan, Katie and Nicole were ready to fight.  
  
"Hypnotize the prisoners so they wont remember anything," said Katie.  
  
"Saxophones suck," said Nicole.  
  
The prisoners were hypnotized again.  
  
"Before we fight," said Meghan looking at Mike, "is everyone sober right now?"  
  
"Let's go," said Mike, turning red.  
  
The saxophone players charged at the bassoon players. Soon books, chairs, reeds, bocals, neck straps and seat straps were flying around the library. The people who weren't hypnotized screamed and ran out of the library. The people who were hypnotized sat there staring blankly at the fight that was happening.  
  
"OW!" Katie yelled when a saxophone player pulled her hair.  
  
She turned around and whacked another saxophone player with her bassoon.  
  
"QUIET! THIS IS A LIBRARY!" the librarian yelled, blowing her whistle.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Mike yelled, throwing a book at the librarian's head. "CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE HAVING A WAR HERE?"  
  
The librarian peed her pants ran out of the library scared outta her mind.  
  
"THE KIDS ARE PSYCHO! THEY MUST BE GETTING INFESTED BY ALIENS! OH NO! I PEED ON MYSELF! MUST...GO..HOME!" she yelled.  
  
Meanwhile, the fight was winding down. The bassoon players were very outnumbered without their allies and were losing the fight. Eventually, they gave up and the saxophone players and Mike got their prisoners. "Don't worry," said Katie to Meghan and Nicole, who were very angry about losing the fight. "We'll get our prisoners back."  
  
Meanwhile, the saxophone players and Mike had a party in the library with their new prisoners.  
  
"Fighting for the saxophones of the round table will be a blast!" Mike said to the prisoners. "Did those stupid bassoon players ever let you have a party?"  
  
"We don't remember," said the prisoners.  
  
"Well, they didn't and we did. You'll love us," said a saxophone player.  
  
The party went on until the end of the day. Then the prisoners left and the saxophone players went home feeling very proud of themselves.  
  
"Those bassoon players won't stand a chance," said Mike.  
  
"Definitely," said a saxophone player. "I hope they get used to losing battles cuz that's all they'll be doing for the rest of this war."  
  
The saxophone players agreed and skipped to their buses. 


	22. Getting the prisoners back

CHAPTER 22- GETTING THE PRISONERS BACK  
  
The next day, Meghan, Katie and Nicole were still mad about losing their prisoners so they decided to try to get them back.  
  
"All we have to do is hypnotize them again," Katie was telling Meghan and Nicole.  
  
"But we don't know where the saxophone players keep them," said Meghan.  
  
"Rumor has it that the saxophone players let our prisoners have a party yesterday to gain their support but before 1st period the saxophone players took them somewhere in this school and are forcing them to make more saxophones," said Nicole.  
  
"So all we have to do is find out where they are?" Meghan asked excitedly.  
  
"Yeah pretty much," said Nicole.  
  
"How are we gonna do that?" Katie asked.  
  
"I say we torture Mike!" Meghan declared.  
  
"Sounds good to me," said Nicole.  
  
"No, no. We have to hold on to our dignity. Torturing people from other sections goes way below bassoon player standards," said Katie.  
  
"Oh goody. We're a bunch of angels," Meghan said sarcastically.  
  
The flute, clarinet, and French horn players and Jackie walked into the bandroom.  
  
"I have an idea," said Katie.  
  
She walked up to them.  
  
"Hi!" she said.  
  
"Sup?" Karyn asked her.  
  
"The saxophone players stole our prisoners yesterday," said Katie.  
  
"Those darn saxophone players," said Erica.  
  
"But there is a way to get them back," said Katie.  
  
"What do you want us to do?" asked Jessica.  
  
"Spy on the saxophone players," said Katie. "Go to different parts of the school, but don't walk around in a big group. I was thinking maybe 4 or 5 people could go to the science wing, and 4 or 5 people could go to the senior wing and stuff like that."  
  
"Ok, I think that'll work," said Jackie.  
  
"I think we'll need some walkie talkies….." said Katie. A FEW MINUTES LATER…..  
  
All the people who were spying on the saxophone players were in their places. Jackie, Amanda, Schellen, Karyn and Nicole were in the science wing hiding behind the stairs when Mike and 3 saxophone players walked into the science wing.  
  
"Ok, how are the saxophones coming along?" Mike asked one of the saxophone players.  
  
"Um, I'll go check. My teacher let me out late," said the saxophone player Mike was talking to.  
  
"Well don't just stand here! Go down to the basement and check!" Mike yelled.  
  
"Right away, oh mighty one!" said the same saxophone player, running toward the basement.  
  
"Come on guys, there's much work to be done," Mike said to the 2 remaining saxophone players.  
  
They walked away.  
  
"Score!" Jackie, Amanda, Schellen, Karyn and Nicole whispered to each other.  
  
They ran to the bandroom and told everyone who was spying to come back ("These walkie talkies are the bomb!" said Schellen). When everyone who was spying came back, Jackie, Amanda, Schellen, Karyn and Nicole told them what they heard.  
  
"All right!" said Meghan. "Let's go!"  
  
"I think we should wait until later. I have a test next period and this period's almost over," said Katie.  
  
"Ok, we'll do it 7th period then," said Nicole.  
  
"Sounds good to me," said Meghan.  
  
"Me too," said Katie.  
  
7th PERIOD…..  
  
Nicole, Katie and Meghan met in the bandroom.  
  
"Let's do it!" said Nicole.  
  
"Wait, where's the basement?" Meghan asked.  
  
"I know where it is," said Katie. "Follow me."  
  
She ran to the entrance to the basement with Meghan and Nicole following close behind. They walked down the stairs quickly but quietly no saxophone players would hear them if there were any there.  
  
"I've never been down in a school basement before!" Meghan whispered. "This is so cool!"  
  
It didn't take long for Katie, Meghan and Nicole to find where the prisoners were because they could hear the sound of hammers and machines. "Those dorks! They could've found a better use for our prisoners. Making saxophones? What an insult to us!" said Nicole.  
  
"Nicole, breathe in, breathe out. Everything'll be fine when we've got them back," said Katie.  
  
"Let's see if the hypnotizing word still works," said Meghan.  
  
She walked to where the saxophone players prisoners were making more saxophones.  
  
"Ew, look it's a bassoon player," they said.  
  
"Oh shut up," Meghan snapped. "Saxophones suck."  
  
The prisoners immediately went into a trance.  
  
"Yes! It still works!" Meghan yelled to Katie and Nicole. Then she turned to the prisoners. "Repeat after me: saxophones are bad. Bassoons are good. You will obey bassoon players and only bassoon players."  
  
"Saxophones are bad. Bassoons are good. We will obey bassoon playerws and only bassoon players," the hypnotized prisoners said.  
  
"Sounds good to me," Katie said as she and Nicole walked up to the prisoners.  
  
"I know just the place for them," said Meghan. "I'm sure the French horn players won't mind sharing their prisoner place."  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole took the prisoners to the orchestra room where Christina, Amanda and Jessica were hanging out.  
  
"We got our prisoners back. Can we keep them here with your prisoners?" Katie asked Christina.  
  
"I don't see why not," said Christina.  
  
"Thanks a lot!" said Nicole.  
  
Then everyone locked the prisoners in one of the practice rooms and had a victory celebration.  
  
MEANWHILE…..  
  
"Those darn bassoon players didn't keep their word!" Mike yelled, outraged about the disappearance of his prisoners. "They agreed to winner keeps all!"  
  
"Well, at least we do things fair and square. They only sink so low cuz they have nothing," said a saxophone player.  
  
"You're right. But we'll get our prisoners back sometime," said Mike.  
  
"When?" asked a saxophone player.  
  
"When they least expect it," said Mike. 


	23. Ambushed by the trumpets

A/N- sry for the bad punctuation in the last chapter. I didn't realize the site was having problems when I posted it.  
  
CHAPTER 23- AMBUSHED BY THE TRUMPETS  
  
One day in band, the French horn players were talking to each other when the trumpet players walked up to them.  
  
"I hope you're teaching each other fingerings. It might come in handy," said Jon.  
  
"Shut up you pathetic gutless loser," snapped Christina.  
  
"You'll pay for that," snapped another trumpet player.  
  
The trumpet players walked away.  
  
"Don't worry, they can't do anything. They're so weak," said Amanda.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Ok let's play The Ascension," he said.  
  
"I think we shouldn't play that," said a trumpet player.  
  
"And why not?" Mr. Reiderer asked.  
  
"Cuz the French horns can't play 1 single note right," said another trumpet player.  
  
"We can so!" Christina, Amanda and Jessica yelled.  
  
"Now now guys be nice to each other. You're violating laws 9 and 35 of the 36 laws of concertism! Now what are they?"  
  
"Respect all other players and respect other band members," said the trumpet and French horn players.  
  
"That's right!" said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"Excuse me sir but is there any difference between laws 9 and 35?" asked Jessica. "They're pretty much the same thing."  
  
"Yes there's a difference. Don't know what it is, but there's a difference," said Mr. Reiderer. "Now let's get ready to play The Ascension."  
  
"Let's kick the French horn players' butts today," Jon whispered to his fellow trumpet players.  
  
"When?" they whispered back.  
  
"Um, the French horn players usually stay here next period so how about next period?" Jon whispered.  
  
"Ok," his fellow trumpet players whispered back.  
  
NEXT PERIOD..  
  
As Jon said, the French horn players stayed in the bandroom after band was over. The trumpet players packed up their instruments like they were leaving so the French horn players wouldn't suspect anything. Then they waited outside the bandroom.  
  
"Give them 10 minutes," said Jon.  
  
When 10 minutes were up, the trumpet players set up their instruments. Then they ran into the bandroom.  
  
"DOWN WITH THE FRENCH HORNS! NO MORE WRONG NOTES!" the trumpet players yelled.  
  
They began beating the French horn players with their trumpets. The poor French horn players never had a chance to draw their instruments-they never saw the attack coming. The trumpet players kept hitting them with their trumpets. The French horn players managed to get to their instruments but they knew it was hopeless. In the end, the French horn players limped out of the bandroom with a lot of bruises and the trumpet players yelled in triumph cuz their ambush was a success.  
  
"NOW MAYBE YOU'LL THINK TWICE ABOUT PLAYING WRONG NOTES!" Jon yelled to the French horn players.  
  
"HAHA YOU WUSSES!" another trumpet player yelled.  
  
They followed the French horn players out of the bandroom and began hitting them with their trumpets again.  
  
"STOP IT!" Chrisitna yelled.  
  
"Oh, you think you can make us stop just by saying stop?" a trumpet player snapped.  
  
"It's not fair!" Amanda whined. "We don't have our instruments!"  
  
"Oh too bad," another trumpet player said sarcastically.  
  
They chased the French horn players away from the bandroom. After the French horn players were far away, the trumpet players walked into the orchestra room (for the heck of it) and found the French horn players' prisoners.  
  
"I know! Let's free them," said Jon.  
  
They freed the French horn players' prisoners.  
  
"Hey guys, check it out!" said another trumpet player, "more prisoners. Those French horn players sure have a lot of prisoners."  
  
The trumpet players unlocked the room where the other prisoners sat hypnotized. What the trumpet players didn't know is that these prisoners were the bassoon players' prisoners.  
  
"Wait, how come some prisoners were running around trying to get out and these prisoners are outta it? Maybe these prisoners are someone else's prisoners," a trumpet player said.  
  
"I don't think so," said another trumpet player. "The bassoon players lost their prisoners to the saxophone players and the saxophone players were keeping their prisoners somewhere else."  
  
"Who cares? Just free them," said Jon.  
  
"Can you hear me?" a trumpet player asked loudly.  
  
"Yes," the prisoners replied in a monotonous voice still hypnotized.  
  
"You're free. We're freeing you, as in you can leave," the same trumpet player said loudly.  
  
"Ok," said the prisoners.  
  
They got up and walked out of the office, still hypnotized.  
  
"Poor them, they'll probably never snap outta it," said a trumpet player.  
  
"Well, I think we've done enough damage for the day," said Jon.  
  
The trumpet players nodded an agreement. 


	24. We're a bunch of losers

CHAPTER 24- WE'RE A BUNCH OF LOSERS  
  
"You did what?!" the trombone and baritone players asked the trumpet players surprised.  
  
"We attacked the French horn players when they least expected it," Jon said proudly.  
  
"Did they have their instruments?" a trombone player asked.  
  
"What does that matter? The point is we got them," said a trumpet player.  
  
"Answer the question," the same trombone player snapped.  
  
"Well no but--" Jon began.  
  
"That's low," said a baritone player.  
  
"I can't believe you did that. They were unarmed," added a trombone player. "You can't attack people when they're unarmed."  
  
"And who said that?" snapped a trumpet player.  
  
"Hello, it's called assuming," said a baritone player.  
  
"Well excuse me, but no one said nothing about not attacking people when they're unarmed so until someone does, we will continue to attack unarmed enemies," said Jon.  
  
"If that's how you feel then we're breaking our alliance with you," said a baritone player.  
  
"You can't just break an alliance," said a trumpet player.  
  
"We can and we did. See ya," said a trombone player.  
  
The trombone and baritone players walked away.  
  
"Fine! We don't need you! We never liked you anyways!" Jon yelled after them.  
  
The French horn players and the bassoon players walked into the bandroom.  
  
"You guys are so dead!" Christina yelled.  
  
"What did we do?" the trumpet players asked innocently.  
  
"What happened to our prisoners?" Amanda snapped.  
  
"Oh we let them go," said Jon.  
  
"And what did you do with our prisoners?" Katie snapped to the trumpet players.  
  
"I told you the prisoners that were outta it weren't the French horn players' prisones," a trumpet player whispered to Jon.  
  
Nicole walked up to Jon and shook him.  
  
"Where are our prisoners?" she yelled.  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about," said Jon.  
  
"Oh yes you do," Meghan snapped at him.  
  
The bassoon players and the trumpet players began arguing.  
  
"Ok everyone be quiet!" Christina yelled.  
  
Everyone stopped arguing.  
  
"Let's talk about this calmly and rationally," said Jessica. "Ok. Jon when you wrongly set our prisoners free after you wrongly attacked us, did you set the prisoners that were hypnotized free also?"  
  
"Oh so that was their problem," said Jon.  
  
"Answer the question you ding-ding," Meghan snapped.  
  
"Yeah. So?" said Jon.  
  
"THOSE WERE OUR PRISONERS!" Nicole yelled.  
  
"Now I know what they mean when they say trumpet players ain't got no brains," said Katie.  
  
"Well excuse me, I have a 99.999999999 average and it's trumpet players don't have any brains," said a trumpet player.  
  
"Oh whatever!" Meghan snapped.  
  
"Let's get them!" Christina yelled.  
  
The French horn players and the bassoon players began chasing the trumpet players around the bandroom. Eventually, the trumpet players gave up.  
  
"You win you win!" they said.  
  
"Good," said Nicole. "Now sit."  
  
"Why?" the trumpet players asked.  
  
"SIT!" Nicole yelled.  
  
The trumpet players sat down and waited while the bassoon players and the French horn players tied them to the chairs and huddled to decide their fate. After a few minutes, they turned toward the trumpet players.  
  
"Ok guys. We're gonna play a little game," said Christina.  
  
"That doesn't sound so bad," the trumpet players said.  
  
The French horn players and the bassoon players pulled out some makeup.  
  
"This game is called get the makeup on the guys," said Amanda.  
  
"NO NO NO!" the trumpet players yelled as the French horn players and bassoon players advanced on them.  
  
15 MINUTES LATER..  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom and saw the French horn players and bassoon players doing something with makeup.  
  
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what are you guys doing?" he asked.  
  
The French horn players and the bassoon players turned the trumpet player's chairs so they were facing Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"We're giving the trumpet players a makeover. Aren't they adorable?" Chrisitna asked pinching one of the trumpet player's cheeks.  
  
"SAVE US MR. REIDERER! WE HATE THIS GAME!" the trumpet players yelled.  
  
"I don't have a problem with you guys using makeup as long as it doesn't make a mess," said Mr. Reiderer walking into his office.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the trumpet players yelled.  
  
"Oh quit whining," Meghan said laughing.  
  
"Yeah so anyways, who wants a facial?" said Nicole.  
  
"Oh you do? Well why didn't you say so?" said Katie.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" the trumpet players yelled again.  
  
"Well lucky for you we don't have any stuff for facials," said Christina.  
  
The trumpet players gave a sigh of relief.  
  
"But unluckily for you, we have a back up plan," said Amanda.  
  
"Oh god," said the trumpet players.  
  
The French horn players and the bassoon players got a really long piece of cardboard and wrote WE'RE A BUNCH OF LOSERS in big red letters on it. Then they attached two strings on each end of the cardboard and tied them together.  
  
"Yeah you are a bunch of losers," Jon said looking at the sign.  
  
The French horn players and the bassoon players tied the sign on the trumpet players so that it looked like one big banner. Then they left.  
  
"HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING? GET US OUTTA THIS!" the trumpet players yelled.  
  
Jessica walked back into the bandroom.  
  
"Oh I forgot to point out one tiny detail. We're leaving you like this until tomorrow," she said.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the trumpet players yelled.  
  
THE NEXT DAY...  
  
"Aw look at the trumpet players! They're soooooo cute...NOT!" Schellen said laughing.  
  
"Hey everyone look! The trumpet players decided to get in touch with their feminine side," said Andy.  
  
Everyone pointed and laughed at the trumpet players. Then Mr. Reiderer untied them and let them go to the bathroom to wash off. Although their makeup was gone, the trumpet players still felt embarrassed cuz everyone kept laughing at them about it. By the end of the day, the trumpet players did feel like a bunch of losers. 


	25. Another Mike vs the percussion section t...

CHAPTER 25- ANOTHER MIKE VS. THE PERCUSSION SECTION THING  
  
The percussion players were in the bandroom making strategies and other fight plans when Mike walked in with his fellow saxophone followers.  
  
"This is the day you're going down!" he declared.  
  
"No, you're going down you loser," said Pat. "You may have more people this time, but you're still gonna lose."  
  
Mike grabbed his saxophone and bassoon, the other saxophone players got their saxophones and the percussion players grabbed several percussion instruments and the fighting began. First, the percussion players were losing so they went to plan B: run over your enemy with the piano. The percussion players ran to the piano and began trying to run over the saxophone players. At first it worked, but then the saxophone players turned around and began trying to push the piano at the percussionists so they had a little pushing war. Eventually the percussionists and the saxophones both gave up so the piano rolled into a wall and broke.  
  
"Now look what you've done!" Scott yelled. "You destroyed our ultimate weapon!"  
  
"Good. Now we can win," said Mike. He turned to the saxophone players. "GET THEM!"  
  
The saxophone players charged at the percussionists, who turned and ran outta the bandroom. The saxophone players ran back to Mike.  
  
"Congratulations oh divine holy one you've won the battle," said the saxophone players.  
  
"Now we will win ourselves some P.O.Ws--" Mike began.  
  
"P.O.Ws?" a saxophone player asked.  
  
"Prisoners of war," said Mike. "Let's get outta here and get those stupid percussion players!"  
  
The other saxophone players thought that it was a stupid idea cuz they didn't know where the percussionists were and if they went to get more people or not but they didn't wanna argue with their god so they began the search for the percussionists.  
  
"I don't see any percussionists," a saxophone player said getting annoyed.  
  
"We'll find them. Don't worry," said Mike.  
  
What they didn't know was that the percussionists were following them. The saxophone players didn't find out until one of the percussionists sneezed.  
  
"WHAT THE.....?" Mike yelled.  
  
The percussionists were surrounded by people that had agreed to fight for them.  
  
"Where'd you get all these people?" Mike snapped.  
  
"Have you ever wondered why we haven't fought you in so long?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"No," Mike snapped. "Well, when we could've been doing some serious butt-kicking, we decided to find people who would act as a militia type thing," said Scott.  
  
"What's a munita?" a saxophone player asked.  
  
"Militia. Honestly don't you read?" Scott asked annoyed.  
  
"No," some saxophone players said.  
  
"A militia is a bunch of volunteers. It was very popular in the Revolutionary War," said Scott in a know-it-all voice.  
  
"So these people volunteered?" Mike asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah," the percussionists said.  
  
"Fellow saxophone players.." Mike said.  
  
"Yeah?" they asked nervously.  
  
"RUN!" Mike yelled.  
  
The saxophone players ran down the hall.  
  
"Get them," Pat said to the people.  
  
The percussionists' volunteers chased the saxophone players until the saxophone players locked themselves in the janitor's closet. They stayed there until they felt it was safe to come out and go back to class. Word of the whole thing traveled to the other band members quickly and the saxophone players spent the rest of the day as the laughingstocks of the band. Mike gathered his fellow saxophone followers together after school and they swore to get revenge on the percussionists. Then they left. 


	26. The flute and clarinet players drink mou...

A/N- sry it took me so long to update but unfortunately I'm back at school and I have volleyball also so I probably won't update as often as I usually do until the end of October cuz that's when volleyball ends. Peace out.  
  
CHAPTER 26- THE FLUTE AND CLARINET PLAYERS DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW. DEAR GOD  
HELP US  
  
One day, the flute and clarinet players and Jackie were in the bandroom the period before band started when Michelle, a clarinet player walked in with 30 kegs of mountain dew.  
  
"Dude who wants some?" she asked.  
  
"ME ME!" the flute and clarinet players said.  
  
"Sure I'll have 1 or 2 shots," Jackie said.  
  
Michelle passed around the mountain dew and soon everyone was sugar high.  
  
"I'm sooooooo hyper!" Erica yelled jumping around the bandroom.  
  
"This was a good idea! What an energy booster! We'll definitely kick the trumpet players' butts now," Jackie added.  
  
"Yeah we'll hit so hard and so fast that the trumpet players won't even know what hit them until after it's over!" said Catherine.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Hello ladies," he said.  
  
"HI MR. REIDERER! OMG WE SO TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR BAND NEXT PERIOD!!!!" the flute and clarinet players and Jackie yelled.  
  
"That's...great," Mr. Reiderer said. "See you later."  
  
He walked away.  
  
"Teenage hormones," he muttered under his breath.  
  
NEXT PERIOD....  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie were still sugar high.  
  
"Hello! Are how are ya? Nice to see ya! Thank you for coming to band!" they told everyone as they came into the bandroom.  
  
"What's up with them? They're a little too excited about band," a trombone player said.  
  
"You're such an idiot. You can never be too excited about band," Andy snapped.  
  
"Who said you're right?" a bartione player snapped back.  
  
"Andy's always right," said Andy's friend.  
  
"Andy's always WRONG!" a trombone player yelled.  
  
Andy and his friend and the trombone and bartione players began having an argument. The flute and clarinet players and Jackie skipped over.  
  
"What's going on brothers and sisters?" Schellen asked. "Where's the love?"  
  
"Where's the love!!! YAY!!!" the flute and clarinet players and Jackie squealed.  
  
They began singing "Where's the Love" (you know that Black-Eyed Peas song with Justin Timberlake). Andy and his friend and the trombone and baritone players gave the flute and clarinet players and Jackie funny looks and moved to the other side of the bandroom to continue their argument.  
  
"I don't think they know where the love is," said Catherine.  
  
"Me too!" said a flute player. "Let's go look for it!"  
  
"Ok!" the flute and clarinet players and Jackie agreed.  
  
They began running around the room over and over and over.  
  
"Are they drunk?" Mike asked his fellow saxophone players.  
  
"We don't know oh great powerful heavenly divine--" they said.  
  
"Ok enough with the adjectives I get it," said Mike.  
  
"No you bunch of ding-dings. They're sugar high but of course you saxophone players wouldn't know. That's what happens when you drink mountain dew. HEY HOW COME THEY DIDN'T SAVE ME SOME?" said Meghan.  
  
"This will be a long rehearsal.." said Katie.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Ok everyone sit down," he said.  
  
"But we can't! We don't know where the love is!" Schellen said.  
  
"It's in the lockers," said Andy.  
  
"Andy be quiet," said Mr. Reiderer. Then he turned to the flute and clarinet players and Jackie. "Please sit down."  
  
"Aw, why do we have to go down when we're feeling so up?" Jackie asked happily.  
  
"Because I said so," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie were less than thrilled to have to sit down and be still. They sat down for about 10 minutes before they went crazy. When they went crazy, they ran around the bandroom like a bunch of idiots.  
  
"So where are the trumpet players?" Karyn asked.  
  
"LADIES! PLEASE SIT DOWN!" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
"But where are the trumpet players?" Karyn asked again.  
  
"They're at a sectional with Mr. Shaw," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
"THAT WASN'T WHAT WE WANTED TO HEAR!" the flute and clarinet players and Jackie yelled.  
  
Mr. Reiderer gave up on trying to make the flute and clarinet players and Jackie sit so he went on with rehearsal but he didn't get too far. During the pieces, the flute and clarinet players and Jackie kept making everyone laugh by standing in the front of the room behind Mr. Reiderer and attempting to do ballet. Then one of the flute players pulled Mr. Reiderer's pants down so the whole band saw his Teletubbies boxers.  
  
"NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW I LIKE TELETUBBIES!!!" Mr. Reiderer yelled turning beat red. "THAT'S IT! I'M GOING HOME TO LISTEN TO THE VOICES IN MY HEAD AGAIN!"  
  
Mr. Reiderer ran out of the bandroom. The trumpet players came back from their sectional.  
  
"What a workout!" Jon said.  
  
"TRUMPET PLAYERS!" Schellen yelled.  
  
"ATTACK!" Karyn yelled.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie ran up to the trumpet players and began doing all these fancy kung fu moves.  
  
"OW OW OW!!!! GET AWAY!" the trumpet players yelled trying to defend themselves.  
  
"THIS IS UNJUST!" Jon yelled as he got kicked in the face.  
  
Eventually the trumpet players were able to escape from the flute and clarinet players and Jackie.  
  
"OH YEAH BABY!!!" they yelled. They turned to everyone in the bandroom. "HELLO SACRAMENTO WHOOO!"  
  
"Thank you Sacramento but we gotta go find where the love is," said Karyn.  
  
They ran out of the room.  
  
"Ha-ha! You guys just got your butts kicked by a bunch of GIRLS!" Andy yelled to the trumpet players.  
  
Then everyone spent the rest of the period laughing at the trumpet players. 


	27. Operation: get the trombones and bariton...

A/N- hey people volleyball's over and I'm back so here's the next chapter  
  
CHAPTER 27- OPERATION: GET THE TROMBONES AND BARITONES KICKED OUTTA BAND  
  
Andy and his friend (who's name I learned is Tim) decided that they would get the trombones and baritones kicked out of band if it was the last thing they ever did.  
  
"We must eliminate those trombone and bartione players from the band!" Andy declared.  
  
"Yeah, we tuba players can definitely handle the bass parts all by ourselves. We don't need them," said Tim.  
  
"Well said bro," said Andy.  
  
"We should wipe them all out!" said Tim.  
  
"Now you're talking!" said Andy.  
  
"But what can we do? We're just 2 people," said Tim.  
  
"Hmmm," said Andy. "I know! We can get other bass instruments to help us and plus we have the saxophone players on our side too."  
  
"If you mean the bassoons and the bass clarinets I don't think it'll work," said Tim.  
  
"Why not?" Andy asked.  
  
"Because the bass clarinets don't believe in violence and the bassoons won't help us cuz they're too stuck up to care about other instruments," said Tim.  
  
"The trumpet players then! The trombone and baritone players broke their alliance with them. They've gotta be ticked off," said Andy.  
  
"Hey, why should we wipe them out ourselves? Let's get them to do it for us," said Tim.  
  
"Tim I love you! You're a genius!" said Andy.  
  
"I know," said Tim.  
  
They agreed to try to wipe out the trombones and baritones tomorrow.  
  
TOMORROW...  
  
The trumpet players walked into the bandroom. Andy and Tim were already there.  
  
"Hello fellow trumpet players," said Andy. "Jon may I say that is a fine shirt you're wearing?"  
  
"What do you want?" Jon asked.  
  
"We want to get rid of the trombone and baritone players. FOREVER!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" said Tim.  
  
"Good. Finally someone wants to get rid of them," said a trumpet player. "They broke their alliance with us. We want them out of band," said Jon.  
  
"So do we," said Andy. "So we need your help to get them kicked outta band."  
  
"Let's steal their instruments!" said Tim.  
  
"That's a good plan Tim," said Andy.  
  
"Let's do it," said a trumpet player.  
  
So they took the trombone and baritone players instruments and threw them outside and locked the door.  
  
"Ok. Now what?" said a trumpet player.  
  
"Write fake notes from their teachers excusing them from band," said Andy.  
  
The trumpet players looked up the trombone and baritone players 1st period teachers, wrote the notes and slipped them in the trombone and baritone players lockers.  
  
"What was the point of that?" Jon asked.  
  
"You'll see in band. Operation: get the trombones and baritones kicked outta band has just begun," said Andy.  
  
BAND....  
  
"Where are the trombone and baritone players?" Mr. Reiderer asked.  
  
"Oh I saw them in the hall and they said they didn't feel like coming to band so they're skipping," said Andy.  
  
"WHAT???? THEY CHOSE SOMETHING ELSE OVER BAND!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING! IF THEY CUT ANY MORE I'LL KICK THEM ALL OUT OF BAND!" Mr. Reiderer yelled. "At least I have 2 faithful bass instrumets here today. Thank you for coming to band Andy and Tim."  
  
"Now all we have to do is keep them outta band one more time and they're out," said Tim.  
  
The trombone and baritone players ran into the bandroom.  
  
"Sorry we're late--" they began.  
  
"Back from skipping so soon? Shouldn't you be wasting another 35 minutes doing something else?" Mr. Reiderer asked coldly.  
  
"I wasn't skipping! I got this note from my teacher saying he wanted to see me after class and when I asked what he wanted he said he never gave me a note," said a baritone player.  
  
"What about everyone else?" Mr. Reiderer asked glaring at the trombone and baritone players.  
  
"Same here," they said.  
  
"Fine. I'll buy it this time, but next time this happens you're gonna be in huge trouble," said Mr. Reiderer. "Go get ready to play."  
  
The trumpet players and Andy and Tim exchanged evil grins.  
  
"Our instruments are missing," the trombone and baritone players said.  
  
"Oh that's great. First you're late and now you don't even have your instruments," said Mr. Reiderer. "Drop and give me 100."  
  
"But--" the trombone and baritone players said.  
  
"NOW!" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
They dropped and began doing 100 push-ups in front of the whole band and everyone laughed at them. By the time they were done, their faces were red from embarrassment.  
  
"Hey, maybe we can laugh them outta band," said Andy.  
  
"EVERYONE KEEP LAUGHING!" Tim yelled.  
  
Everyone but the trombone and baritone players continued laughing for a little while but eventually people didn't find it funny anymore. Soon band was over.  
  
"I think that Operation: get the trombones and baritones kicked outta band will be a success," Tim said to Andy as they walked outta the bandroom.  
  
"It will be. I'll make sure of that," said Andy. 


	28. The bass clarinetists go ballistic final...

A/N- REVIEWS?????  
  
CHAPTER 28- THE BASS CLARINETISTS GO BALLISTIC (FINALLY!)  
  
One day in band, Mike being the complete idiot that he is walked up to the bassoon players because he felt like getting in an argument.  
  
"I despise bassoon players," he said. "Especially bassoon players named Katie, Nicole and Meghan."  
  
"That's the best diss you can come up with?" said Meghan. "Dang you're pathetic."  
  
The bass clarinet players walked to their seats.  
  
"Oh man, more violence?" they asked.  
  
"Why, you whimpy little bass clarinetists can't handle the sight of blood?" Mike asked.  
  
"We can, but Buddah and the 36 Laws of Concertism discourge violence so therefore we're against violence," one of the bas clarinetists said.  
  
"Well screw Buddah!" Mike yelled.  
  
Everyone else who was in the bandroom stopped what they were doing to watch the conflict between Mike and the bass clarinetists.  
  
"Hey, don't insult our god!" the other bass clarinetist said.  
  
"Uh-oh they're getting angry," Katie said.  
  
"Take cover! This will be nuclear!" Andy yelled.  
  
Everyone except Mike and the other saxophone players and the bass clarinetists ran into the band locker room and watched from there.  
  
"Buddah was a gay person who had gay ideas," a saxophone player said.  
  
"And let's not forget the uni-brow!" Mike added.  
  
"Stop it!" the bass clarinetists yelled.  
  
"Look at me! I'm Buddah! I'm a whimp with the uni-brow!" Mike yelled.  
  
"Say Buddah, what is the meaning of life?" another saxophone player asked.  
  
"Duh...I dunno!" Mike said stupidly.  
  
Mike and the saxophone players started laughing. The bass clarinetists got madder and madder.  
  
"Any minute now," said Andy.  
  
"Goozoo fraba, goozoo fraba, goozoo fraba....." the bass clarinetists muttered to themselves.  
  
"What kinda crap is goozzoo fraba? The only thing Buddah knew how to say? Man was he stupid then!" another saxophone player said. "Violence isn't the answer, violence ins't the answer........VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER!!!!! DIE MIKE DIE!!!!!!!" the bass clarinetists yelled.  
  
They picked up their bass clarinets and began beating Mike and the saxophone players with them. In less than 5 minutes the saxophone players and Mike were laying unconcious on the ground. Then the bass clarinetists were still mad about what Mike and the other saxophone players said about Buddah that they began running around the room breaking whatever instrument they came across. Keys, reeds and valves went flying. Chairs tipped over and music stands broke.  
  
"SAVE THE INSTRUMENTS!" Karyn yelled.  
  
Everyone who was hiding in the locker room grabbed whatever instruments were not broken and put them in the locker room. Then several people grabbed the bass clarinetists.  
  
"LET GO OF US OR WE'LL RIP YOUR HEADS OFF!!!!" they yelled.  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if they started foaming at the mouth," someone said.  
  
"WHOEVER SAID THAT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!" one of the bass clarinetists yelled.  
  
"Let's lock them in a practice room," said Schellen.  
  
Everyone locked the bass clarinetists in a practice room. The bass clarinetists ran into the door over and over to try to break it down but it didn't work, so they began running around in circles, ripping organized music scores off the shelves and ripping all the parts out all over the floor. Everyone stood on the other side of the practice room, watching them.  
  
"Mr. Reiderer is gonna be mad," a trombone player said.  
  
"Ok everyone...WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
Everyone turned around. There were tipped over chairs, broken music stands and instruments and unconcious saxophone players everywhere.  
  
"WELL? I'D LIKE AN EXPLANATION!" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
No one said anything.  
  
"Fine. Mr. Shaw will deal with this then," Mr. Reiderer said angrily.  
  
"Ok ok. Here goes: the bass clarinetists went crazy and they did it," said Michelle.  
  
"Yeah right. The bass clarinetists would never hurt a fly," said Mr. Reiderer. "Since you obviously refuse to tell me the truth than you all are staying after school today to clean up this mess. Except for the bass clarinetists because they're my favorite students."  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked away. Everyone groaned.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL..  
  
The bass clarinetists were still going crazy in the practice room while everyone else cleaned up the mess they made. Mike and the saxophone players were concious again and everyone was yelling at them.  
  
"Way to go you ding-dings," Katie snapped at them.  
  
"Mike you disgraced all of the seniors like me in band forever," Jackie snapped.  
  
"Hey, let's feed them to the bass clarinetists!" Meghan declared.  
  
"Yeah! Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!" everyone but Mike and the saxophone players yelled.  
  
"Uh-oh! AAAAAAAAAH!" Mike and the saxophone players yelled.  
  
They ran out of the bandroom. Soon everyone else finished cleaning up. They checked on the bass clarinetists. They were still going crazy but not as bad as before. Everyone decided to leave them locked up until tomorrow because they didn't wanna take any chances. Then they left. 


	29. Felonies and Fights

A/N- I've been reading the reviews (which are much appreciated so keep em coming) and one or 2 people are confused about the alliance thing so I'll try to clear it up: flutes (and Jackie)-clarinets-bassoons-french horns, trumpets-trombones-baritones (but that alliance was broken), saxophones- tubas.  
  
CHAPTER 29- FELONIES AND FIGHTS  
  
The next day at band everyone was still talking about how the bass clarinetists went psycho and destroyed the bandroom.  
  
"I've learned my lesson," Mike announced. "Never insult a bass clarinetist."  
  
"Well duh, you shoulda known that already," said Katie.  
  
"Shut up," snapped a saxophone player.  
  
The bass clarinetists walked into the bandroom and looked at what a mess it still was (it didn't get totally clean on account of everyone gave up and left).  
  
"What happened?" they asked. "It looks like there was a war in here. How very violent."  
  
"Actually," said Andy, "you made this mess when you went psycho yesterday."  
  
"WE DID?" they yelled. "WE'RE BAD BUDDAHISTS!!!!"  
  
They ran into the nearest practice room and cried.  
  
"Now look what you did. You hurt their feelings," snapped a trombone player.  
  
"Way to go Einstein," said Meghan.  
  
"Hey don't insult our allies," snapped Mike.  
  
"Yeah don't insult us," said Tim.  
  
Mr. Reiderer walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Ok everyone let's get ready to play," he said.  
  
"Hey Mike," whispered a saxophone player. "Remember the fight in the library from long ago?"  
  
"Yeah what about it?" whispered Mike.  
  
"Let's get those bassoon players back today 3rd period. They aren't suspecting anything right now," the same saxophone player whispered.  
  
"That's a good idea," the other saxophone players whispered.  
  
"Ok let's do it," Mike whispered.  
  
The bassoon players turned around.  
  
"You know if you're plotting revenge you shouldn't do it while the people you're trying to get revenge on are sitting right in front of you," Nicole whispered mocking them.  
  
"We heard every word," said Katie. "You wanna get us back 3rd period but it ain't gonna happen."  
  
"Honestly you shouldn't whisper so loud," said Meghan. "Boy are you guys stupid."  
  
They turned around.  
  
"Dang it," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Don't despair my friend. I have an idea. Let's huddle," said Mike.  
  
He whispered his plan to the other saxophone players and they all laughed evily.  
  
LATER....  
  
Mike and his fellow saxophone followers walked up to a fire alarm. All of the saxophone players except for Mike and 2 others ran into the bathrooms.  
  
"You know this is kind of a felony. We could get in huge trouble if we get caught," a saxophone player said.  
  
"Don't worry. I turned off all the cameras in the building. There's no way we'll get caught," said Mike.  
  
Mike and 2 other saxophone players pulled the fire alarm and ducked into the bathrooms while other kids started filing out of the building. When there were enough kids that would cover Mike and the other saxophone players they walked out of the bathrooms.  
  
"Shoot look at our hands," one of the saxophone players that pulled the fire alarm whispered to Mike. "They're covered in blue ink."  
  
"This is where Phase 2 comes in," said Mike. "Let's find those bassoon players."  
  
When they got outside, Mike and the 2 other saxophone players that pulled the alarm went looking for the bassoon players. They found them easily.  
  
"Hello Katie, Meghan and Nicole," said Mike.  
  
"How much money do you want?" Meghan asked annoyed.  
  
"We don't want money but $1.00 for the vending machines would be nice," said a saxophone player.  
  
"No way. You're not worth it," said Meghan.  
  
"We don't want money," said Mike. "We the members of the Saxophones of the Round Table were talking and we decided that fighting with you takes up to much time. We quit. You guys, er girls win."  
  
"We want a truce," said one of the saxophone players.  
  
"Yes, I knew we were the best," said Nicole.  
  
"Wait a minute you're up to something," Katie said, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"We surrender. If we had a white flag we'd wave it," said the other saxophone player.  
  
"I still don't like it," said Katie.  
  
"Katie has a point," said Meghan. "You're just trying to get you're "revenge" on us"  
  
"I swear I'm not!" said Mike. "Honest!"  
  
"Please give us a truce!" begged the other 2 saxophone players.  
  
"You want a truce? You got it. But first you have to beg for one," said Katie.  
  
"We did!" said Mike and the other 2 saxophone players.  
  
"On your knees," said Katie.  
  
Mike and the other 2 saxophone players got on their knees.  
  
"Please give us a truce!" they cried.  
  
"Good enough for me," said Meghan.  
  
"I dunno, they could do better," said Nicole.  
  
"Ok. Let's shake hands," said Mike.  
  
They shook hands. While they were shaking hands the most of the ink rubbed onto the bassoon players' hands and off of the saxophone players' hands.  
  
"PSYCHE!" Mike yelled. "SUCKERS!"  
  
They ran away spitting on their hands and rubbing the rest of the ink on their jeans.  
  
"What the--EW!!!" Katie yelled.  
  
"THEY FRAMED US!" Nicole yelled.  
  
"ATTENTION!" Mr. Bauman said into a bullhron (you know those things that life guards talk into at the beach. "I HAVE DONE AN INVESTIGATION AND COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE FIRE ALARM WAS INTENTIONALLY PULLED. THIS IS A FELONY! THE CULPRIT AND OR CULPRITS WILL BE CAUGHT. IF ANYONE HAS ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THEM, PLEASE SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PIECE."  
  
"MR. BAUMAN! MR. BAUMAN! WE KNOW WHO DID IT!" Mike yelled.  
  
"WHO SONNIE? PLEASE SPEAK AND I'LL GIVE YOU $100!" said Mr. Bauman.  
  
"IT WAS THOSE BLOODY BASSOON PLAYERS AND THEY PATHETICALLY TRIED TO COVER IT UP BY BLAMING ME AND MY 2 FRIENDS!" Mike yelled.  
  
Him and the 2 saxophone players held up their faded inky hands.  
  
"WELL I'LL BE DARNED!" said Mr. Bauman.  
  
"THERE THEY ARE!" one of the saxophone players yelled running over to Katie, Nicole and Meghan and pointing them out.  
  
"YOU 3 COME HERE," said Mr. Bauman.  
  
"Aw man," said Meghan.  
  
"NOW!" said Mr. Bauman.  
  
Meghan, Katie and Nicole walked up to Mr. Bauman. When they passed the saxophone players, Katie glared at them, Meghan mouthed "#@%$ you ya dumb #@%$" and Nicole gave them the finger. The whole school laughed at them as they walked up to Mr. Bauman.  
  
"HEY NO GLARING, VULGARITY OR GIVING THE FINGER! DON'T BLAME THEM FOR YOUR WRONGDOINGS!" said Mr. Bauman. "THAT WILL BE ALL THE REST OF YOU CAN GO BACK TO CLASS."  
  
"That was awesome," said a saxophone player.  
  
"Yeah," said Mike, "and let's make their day better and beat them up after school today."  
  
"You're so evil Mike," said another saxophone player.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL..  
  
Mike and his fellow saxophone followers waited outside the bandroom for Katie, Nicole and Meghan to come out from detention and get their instruments.  
  
"Ah 5:00. Any minute now," said Mike looking at his watch.  
  
Katie, Nicole and Meghan came around the corner.  
  
"Hello ladies," said Mike.  
  
He began beating them up and the other saxophone players joined in. The fight went on and on and on but the bassoon players were outnumbered and they eventually gave up and surrendered.  
  
"Ha-ha and now you got what you had coming to ya," said Mike.  
  
He spat at them and he and his fellow saxophone followers walked away. Extremely embarrassed from the day they had, Meghan, Katie and Nicole vowed to give the saxophone players hell and grabbed their instruments and headed for home. 


	30. Battle in the Bathroom

CHAPTER 30- BATTLE IN THE BATHROOM  
  
The trumpet players were absolutely inspired with the whole fire alarm incident. They congratulated the saxophone players on a job well done.  
  
"That was brilliant!" Jon told Mike. "However did you come up with such a sinister plan?"  
  
"I'm a sinister person," said Mike, "and sinister people come up with sinister plans."  
  
"Well anyhow it was awesome," another trumpet player said. "How long are the bassoon players suspended?"  
  
"Indefinitely," said another saxophone player.  
  
"But if you don't mind, me and my fellow saxophone players need to go work out so we're in tip top shape for the next battle. We're suspecting an attack from the bassoon players if they ever get allowed back in school so we must be ready," said Mike.  
  
"Well in that case we don't wanna hold you up," said Jon. "Have fun!"  
  
Mike and his fellow saxophone players left.  
  
"I have an idea!" a trumpet player exclaimed. "This would be the perfect opportunity to have a battle with the flutes and clarinets and Jackie! The bassoon players aren't around and we can kidnap the French horn players so we'll totally beat them!"  
  
"Yes! What a sinister plan. Let's do it," said Jon.  
  
They began planning when and where the battle would happen and then they began to prepare for it.  
  
LATER THAT DAY...  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie ran into the ladies' room to get sugar high on mountain dew.  
  
"I brought my oboe reed gun just in case," said Jackie.  
  
"Good thinking," said Erica.  
  
"Where's the French horn players? They were supposed to meet us here," said Schellen.  
  
"Oh well. You know what that means," said Michelle.  
  
"What?" the other flute and clarinet players and Jackie asked.  
  
"More mountain dew for us. Drink up!" said Michelle tossing bottles of mountain dew to everyone.  
  
IN THE BANDROOM...  
  
The trumpet players were just gettig ready to look for the flute and clarinet players and Jackie when the French horn players walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Oh man yes! This is working out better than I excpected!" said Jon.  
  
"Where are the flute and clarinet players and Jackie?" Jessica asked. "We were supposed to get sugar high on mountain dew with them," said Amanda.  
  
"Oh yes, we just saw them actually," a trumpet player said, "they went to the auditorium."  
  
"Ok," said Christina.  
  
The French horn players walked into the practice room with all the music in it (cuz there was a door that led to the auditorium in there) and the trumpet players closed the door to the practice room and locked it.  
  
"SUCKERS!" Jon yelled.  
  
"HEY LET US OUT!!!!" Amanda, Jessica and Christina yelled.  
  
"No way," a trumpet player said, "you're our hostages as of right now. Ah, it's so good to be sinister."  
  
"Now let's go find those flute and clarinet players and Jackie," said Jon.  
  
The trumpet players grabbed their instruments ran out of the bandroom. It didn't take them long to find the flute and clarinet players and Jackie, they could hear them laughing from all the way down the hall. The ran into the ladies room and found the flute and clarinet players and Jackie running around like idiots.  
  
"Oh god they drank the mountain dew....again....good thing we bought our instruments," a trumpet player said.  
  
"OoO look! There's guys in the ladies room!" said Karyn.  
  
"They must be hermaphrodites!" said Catherine.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEW," the flute and clarinet players and Jackie said.  
  
"DIE DIE DIE!" the trumpet players yelled and began attacking the flute and clarinet players and Jackie.  
  
"WE KNOW KUNG FU!" Schellen yelled.  
  
"OH GOD NOT THE KUNG FU AGAIN!" Jon yelled.  
  
"BUT THIS TIME WE HAVE OUR INSTRUMENTS! OH WHAT NOW?" another trumpet player yelled.  
  
The flute and clarinet players and Jackie began doing their kung fu moves and the trumpet players still attempted to whack the them with their instruments. For a while, it didn't look like anyone was winning. But then one of the trumpet players found Jackie's oboe reed gun.  
  
"Hey what's this?" the trumpet player asked.  
  
The trumpet player pulled the trigger and an oboe reed flew into his eye.  
  
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!" he yelled running around the bathroom. "GET IT OUT!!!! GET IT OUT!!!!!! GET IT OUT!!!!"  
  
"OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO?" another trumpet player yelled.  
  
"DUDE WHEN YOU SHOOT A GUN YOU POINT IT AWAY FROM YOU!" Jon yelled. "NOW I HAVE TO RIP THAT REED OUT."  
  
"GET IT OUT NOW!!!!" the trumpet player yelled.  
  
"HAHA!!!" the flute and clarinet players yelled. "THERE'S A REED IN HIS EYE!!!"  
  
"DON'T WORRY! I'LL GET IT OUT FOR YOU!" Jon yelled.  
  
He grabbed the reed and tried to yank it out of the trumpet player's eye. Unfortunately, the eye ripped out of its socket and the reed still remained in the eye ball.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!" everyone yelled.  
  
"There got it out," said Jon. "Wow that was in there deep!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! MY EYE!!!! YOU IDIOT YOU PULLED TOO HARD! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT AN EMPTY SOCKET! NOW I'LL HAVE TO GET A GLASS ONE! HOW WILL I EVER GET A DATE NOW?" the trumpet player yelled, putting his hand over the empty socket.  
  
"WEAR SUNGLASSES!" said Erica, "BUT YOU WEREN'T VERY ATTRACTIVE ANYWAY, EVEN BEFORE YOU LOST YOUR EYE."  
  
"THOSE DARN OBOE REEDS!" Jon yelled. "GUYS LET'S GET THOSE FLUTE AND CLARINET PLAYERS!!!"  
  
The trumpet players began chasing the flute and clarinet players and Jackie. Eventually the flute and clarinet players and Jackie's mountain dew began to wear off and they got tired. The trumpet players locked them in the boys room and stole Jackie's oboe reed gun. Then they walked away, feeling happy that they FINALLY won a battle. 


	31. The bassoon players ultimate weapon

A/N- I've been receiving some complaints that the story is too long and who am I to argue, it is a long story. So in other words the story is coming to an end. Now the question is to write a sequel or not to write a sequel. What do you think?  
  
CHAPTER 31- THE BASSOON PLAYERS' "ULTIMATE WEAPON"  
  
After being suspended for who knows how long for "pulling the fire alarm," Katie, Meghan and Nicole were finally allowed to go back to school. They ran into the bandroom and began setting up the saxophone players' dooms-day device. They were eager to give the saxophone players a good kick in the butt.  
  
"Our plan is full-proof," Nicole declared.  
  
"Yeah those saxophone players don't stand a chance," said Meghan.  
  
You see, when Katie, Meghan and Nicole were suspended they spent their time making war strategies and developing the "ultimate saxophone-killing weapon."  
  
"I so can't wait for band. Then we can test our weapon out and see if it works," said Katie.  
  
"I thought you tested it yesterday," said Meghan.  
  
"Uh I kinda forget about it," said Katie.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU FORGET? WE WORKED ON IT FOR DAYS!" Nicole yelled.  
  
"I say we should just do it," said Meghan, "yeah there's a 60-40 chance that we'll blow up the bandroom and die in a fiery explosion but it's a chance worth taking."  
  
"I agree with Meghan," said Nicole.  
  
"Well ok if you're willing to put our lives on the line for revenge......." said Katie.  
  
"Just do it already!" said Meghan and Nicole.  
  
The French horn players walked into the bandroom.  
  
"Hey you're back!" said Christina.  
  
"What's that?" Jessica asked as Katie took out the "ultimate weapon."  
  
"This is the Contrabassoon of Doom 3000," said Nicole.  
  
"Awesome. How does it work?" Amanda asked.  
  
"The Contrabassoon of Doom 3000 looks like an ordinary contrabassoon but it is not," said Katie. "This weapon of mass destruction works similar to Jackie's oboe reed gun, but there are some huge differences. This is about 3 times the size of an ordinary contrabassoon because the reeds we invented are a little bigger than golf balls. Be careful, we used the same nuclear technology that people used in the atomic bomb that we dropped on Japan so yes the reeds are extremely radioactive."  
  
"The band war gets nuclear. Impressive," said Jessica. "You put the reeds inside this part here," said Meghan, pointing to a part on the instrument, "and when you push this key down a reed moves into the bocal so it can be launched and when you push this key here the reed gets launched and BANG the saxophone players are dead. Hey that reminds me, you wanna watch?"  
  
"Yeah! This will be awesome," said Christina.  
  
"There's only one small problem," said Nicole.  
  
"What?" Christina, Jessica and Amanda asked.  
  
"Katie forgot to test it so there's a 60-40 chance that it won't work right and we'll all die in a fiery explosion," said Nicole. "Still up for it?"  
  
"Yeah. If that happens we could run into that practice room with the door and run outside," said Jessica.  
  
"Yes! That's brilliant!" said Meghan.  
  
They heard Mike and his fellow saxophone followers coming.  
  
"Everyone get into the practice room," said Katie. "I'll get it ready and join you guys in a minute."  
  
Jessica, Amanda, Christina, Nicole and Meghan ran into the practice room. Katie got the Contrabassoon of Doom 3000 ready.  
  
"Man I hope this works," she said.  
  
Mike and his saxophone followers walked into the bandroom. Katie pushed the launching button and ran into the practice room. They gave each other the "ok whatever" look. The French horn players and the bassoon players waited anxiously in the practice room for the explosion.  
  
"Uh-oh. That's not good," said Katie. "If the Contrabassoon of Doom 3000 was working properly, the saxophone players would be dead by now."  
  
"Which is why you should've tested it YESTERDAY," said Nicole.  
  
"Maybe it's a quiet explosion," said Jessica.  
  
Meghan peeped out the small glass windows in the door.  
  
"No. Nothing happened," she said, disappointed.  
  
"This was a waste of time. I'm leaving," said Christina.  
  
"Yeah me too," said Amanda and Jessica.  
  
"All that hard work for nothing," said Meghan.  
  
They walked out of the practice room.  
  
"Ha-ha what an incredible dooms-day thing. Too bad it doesn't work," Mike said sarcastically.  
  
"Shut up," said Katie.  
  
"Don't tell our saxophone god to shut up," a saxophone player said.  
  
"Shut up, shut up, shut up," said Katie.  
  
"You shut up," said Mike.  
  
The French horn players shook their heads and left before they became involved with the bassoon and the saxophone players' argument. While the bassoon and the saxophone players were arguing the Contrabassoon of Doom 3000 started to smoke. After 5 minutes it began shaking.  
  
"Hey what's that smell? Something's burning," said Meghan.  
  
They all turned around and saw the Contrabassoon of Doom 3000 smoking and shaking violently.  
  
"IT'S GONNA BLOW!" Mike yelled. "RUN!!!!!"  
  
Everyone began yelling and running around in circles. Fortunately in all this confusion, someone opened the door and everyone ran outside just seconds before the Contrabassoon of Doom 3000 exploded.  
  
LATER.........  
  
"There is a humongous crater in the back of the bandroom," said Mr. Reiderer. "I want to know the masterminds behind this."  
  
No one said anything, except Mike and the saxophone players looked like they might talk. Nicole gave them the "say anything and I'll shove a bocal down your throat look" so they changed their minds.  
  
"What is happening to this band? We are becoming uncivilized so that's why starting today, we are going to spend all our time reading from the Catechism of Concertism until you all become peaceful and civilized Concertists," said Mr. Reiderer.  
  
Everyone groaned.  
  
"What a lousy first day back," said Nicole. "First our plan to get rid of the saxophone players once and for all failed and now this."  
  
Meghan and Katie agreed with her. 


	32. One more mike vs the percussion section ...

CHAPTER 32- ONE MORE MIKE VS. THE PERCUSSION SECTION THING  
  
On the same day as the bassoon players' attempt to annihilate (OoO big word!!!!) the saxophone players, Mike came to a revelation: fighting a war with 2 different sections was too much for him. He decided to take a break from fighting with the percussionists for a little while. Later that day he called for a meeting between him and them.  
  
"I want to tell you the reason I called you here," he began dramatically.  
  
"I hope you called us here for a good reason cuz there are other things we could be doing right now," said Pat.  
  
"Yeah I'm missing chess class for this," said Scott.  
  
"Wow what a dork," Mike said under his breath. Then he raised his voice. "It is a good reason. I'm not calling myself weak or anything but I can't fight 2 sections at once. It's too stressful."  
  
"So are you calling a surrender?" Lindsay asked.  
  
"No. Just cuz I'm not fighting you anymore doesn't mean I'm not fighting you anymore," said Mike.  
  
"Your statement shows no logic, and I know logic. I've been valedictorian of my grade since forever," said Scott.  
  
"I don't know a good way to explain it!" Mike yelled, frustrated. "Can we just fight verbally or something?"  
  
"Fine. But you have to admit that you're a wuss," said Pat.  
  
"No way," said Mike. "Why don't we make one of those things?"  
  
"Huh?" Pat asked.  
  
"You know, one of those things where there's 2 people fighting but they don't want to actually fight so they make up a thing to fight each other but not fight each other?"  
  
"You mean like a Non-Aggression Pact?" asked Scott.  
  
"Yes! That's it!" said Mike.  
  
"Well, ok. We could use some time off anyway," said Lindsay. "What do you think Pat?"  
  
"Sounds good to me. Let's get started," said Pat.  
  
AN HOUR LATER.....  
  
"Done!" said Pat.  
  
He set his pencil on the floor.  
  
"Wait!" said Scott. "We must endorse it to make it official."  
  
"What?" everyone else said.  
  
"It means we have to sign it," said Scott.  
  
"Oh yeah ok," everyone else said.  
  
"I will sign first since it was my idea," said Mike.  
  
"Who said you could sign it first? I'm the leader of the percussion section so I should sign it first," said Pat.  
  
"Wait a minute, who died to make you leader?" Lindsay snapped.  
  
"Who cares? Anyway, I'm more important than you and your pitiful percussion section so I'm signing first," said Mike.  
  
"Hey do rock paper scissors or something," said Scott.  
  
"Fine," said Mike and Pat glaring at each other. "Rock, paper, scissors SHOOT!"  
  
"Ha, paper covers rock! I win! I win! Oh yeah, go me!" Mike did a happy dance.  
  
"Well if you sign it first, then I'm not signing at all," snapped Pat.  
  
"Same here," the rest of the percussion section agreed.  
  
Mike lost his temper and went psycho.  
  
"OH YEAH WELL FINE! WHAT GOOD IS A NON-AGGRESSION PACT IF NOBODY WILL SIGN THE DARN THING?" he yelled.  
  
He picked up the Non-Aggression Pact and ripped it into a bunch of little pieces.  
  
"HERE'S YOUR NON-AGGRESSION PACT!" he yelled, throwing the little pieces.  
  
"HEY I WORKED HARD ON THAT!" Pat yelled.  
  
"GET HIM!" the other percussionists yelled.  
  
The percussion players chased Mike around the bandroom. After about 15 minutes of chasing Mike ran outside and the percussion players locked all the doors so he couldn't get back in the bandroom so he had to use the entrance by the office so he got written up for cutting class. When the percussionists found this out, they were very happy.  
  
"Yes! Well done guys. It's great to work with such awesome people," said Pat. "It sure is awesome to be the leader of you guys."  
  
"Like I said before, who died to make you leader?" asked Lindsay.  
  
"Well, I am the principle player so that makes me the leader," said Pat.  
  
"That's not necessarily true," said Scott.  
  
"Are you challenging my power whiz kid?" Pat snapped.  
  
"No, I'm just saying that being the principle player doesn't automatically make you the leader," said Scott.  
  
"Well you're wrong," Pat snapped.  
  
The percussionists started arguing. Eventually, they started attempting to beat the crap out of each other with all the percussion toys. Then the bell rang and they went to class. This marks the start of the percussionists' civil war. 


	33. The percussionists less than 24hour civi...

A/N- there's only about 5 or 6 more chapters to go so hang in there. Have to admit even I'm getting bored of this story.  
  
CHAPTER 33- THE PERCUSSIONISTS' LESS THAN 24-HOUR CIVIL WAR  
  
The day after the Non-Aggression Pact thing, the percussionists were still mad at each other. Because of this, most of band rehearsal was spent watching the percussionists try to kill each other with all the percussion toys.  
  
"YOU ARE NOT OUR LEADER PAT!" Scott yelled.  
  
"I AM PRINCIPLE PLAYER AND YOUR LEADER! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!" Pat yelled as he tried to hit Scott with a timpani mallet.  
  
"Wow Pat you're pathetic. If I was in you're shoes right now, I'd actually be able to hit him with the mallet," said Lindsay.  
  
"Yeah right there's no way a GIRL is more athletic than me," said Pat.  
  
"Watch me," Lindsay snapped.  
  
She grabbed the timpani mallet from him and whacked Scott upside the head with it.  
  
"YEEEEEEEEOW!" he yelled.  
  
"See?" Lindsay said, smirking.  
  
She threw the timpani mallet back to Pat and it hit him right between the eyes.  
  
"DANG YOU!" he yelled.  
  
The percussionists began arguing with each other.  
  
"GUYS! WHAT IS GOING ON BACK THERE?" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
"I'M THE LEADER!" Pat yelled.  
  
"What?" Mr. Reiderer asked.  
  
Everyone in the band gave Pat weird looks.  
  
"YOU HEARD ME. I'M THE LEADER!" Pat yelled. "I'M THE BEST DARN PERCUSSIONIST IN THIS SCHOOL!"  
  
"No, the leader should be the smartest person here," said Scott, "and that would be me. I've been valedictorian of my class since forever."  
  
"No way. The leader should be the most athletic person, and hate to break it to you, but that's me," said Lindsay.  
  
"We have the same athletic ability Lindsay," another percussionist (whose name I learned is Don. He's Lindsay's brother).  
  
"Well I think the leader should be the most popular person here. Too bad for all of you," another percussionist (whose name I learned is Megan).  
  
"I'm as popular as you," Lindsay snapped at her. "And more athletic. The leader."  
  
All the percussionists began yelling at each other at the same time so it was hard to hear what everyone was saying.  
  
"I AM TRYING TO RUN A QUALITY BAND REHEARSAL HERE! I CAN'T DO THAT IF YOU GUYS KEEP ARGUING!" Mr. Reiderer yelled.  
  
The percussionists were yelling so loudly they didn't even hear him.  
  
"I GIVE UP!" Mr. Reiderer yelled. "I'M GOING HOME."  
  
Mr. Reiderer left. Shortly after he did, the percussionists lost it and went psycho.  
  
"How very violent," the bass clarinetists said.  
  
"LET'S GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE THEY KILL US!" Erica yelled.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" everyone else in the band yelled.  
  
They ran into the hall and to the other end of the school. Meanwhile the percussionists were trying to kill each other. Scott attempted to run Pat over with the timpani, Pat threw whatever percussion toys he could get his hands on at the other percussionists, Lindsay tried to knock the bass drum over so it would fall on Megan's head, Don began ripping the little thingies of the xylophone and throwing them at Lindsay and Megan knocked a cymbal on Don's foot. This chaos went on for about 2 hours. Eventually the percussionists got tired so they decided to take a breather.  
  
"Wow, we made a mess," said Pat surveying the room.  
  
There were chairs and stands scattered everywhere. The snare drum had a huge hole in it, the cymbals were dented, pretty much all of the percussion toys were broken and the xylophones no longer had those thingies that xylophone players hit to get notes out.  
  
"Amaze me and tell me something I don't know already," said Scott. "Oh wait you can't because I know everything."  
  
"Shut up Scott," Don snapped.  
  
"Yeah," said Lindsay. "Look, this is silly. Why are we fighting each other when we could use all our power to fight Mike?"  
  
"She's got a point," Megan agreed.  
  
"Well, I did get a little carried away with the whole leader thing," said Pat.  
  
"And I did brag about being smart too much," Scott admitted. "And I wouldn't shut up about my athletic abilities," said Lindsay.  
  
"Let's stop this foolishness and get back to planning revenge on Mike!" said Pat.  
  
"Yeah," Scott, Lindsay, Don and Megan agreed.  
  
And thus ends the percussionists' civil war. 


	34. The alliances fall apart

CHAPTER 34- THE ALLIANCES FALL APART

It had been 3 weeks since the percussionists' civil war. Since then things went from bad to worse. There had been more battles between fighting sections (at least 5 a day) so instruments had to continually be sent to the shop (the music department was $354378856565659484632000 in debt). Mr. Reiderer had given up on preserving peace throughout the band so he was letting everyone fight each other.

"HAHA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!" the trumpet players yelled, chasing the flute and clarinet players and Jackie.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" they yelled.

"Don't worry! We'll save you!" Jessica, Amanda and Christina said, chasing the trumpet players with their French horns.

"Get the percussionists!" Mike yelled to his fellow saxophone players. "CHARGE!"

The saxophone players and percussionists charged at each other. Katie, Meghan and Nicole seeing that the saxophone players were busy with the percussionists, decided to help the flutes and clarinets and Jackie and get the saxophone players later.

"Low brass players reek like feet!" Andy and Tim yelled at the trombone and baritone players.

"You shouldn't be talking you stupid tuba players!" a trombone player yelled, pushing his slide at Andy's knee.

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!" Andy yelled grabbing his knee and jumping up and down.

"This violence is disgraceful," the bass clarinetists said.

"You'll pay for that!" Tim yelled.

He charged the trombone and baritone players and attempted to whack all of them with his tuba. Despite numerous hits from trombone slides he managed to get 2 or 3. Meanwhile the trumpets were still chasing the flutes and clarinets and Jackie when they discovered that the French horns and bassoons were coming after them.

"Oh crap," the trumpet players yelled.

"HAHA!" the French horns and bassoons yelled.

"Wait what are you attacking us for?" Jon yelled.

"What?" Nicole asked.

"You heard me," said Jon.

"Well I'll give you 3 reasons why," said Meghan, "you're a trumpet player, you play the trumpet and you're stupid."

"You don't wanna attack us," another trumpet player said.

"And why not?" Amanda asked.

"Do you know what the flute and clarinet players really think of you French horn players?" Jon asked Christina, Jessica and Amanda.

"What?" they asked.

"They think that the French horn section doesn't try and is quite pitiful," said Jon.

"What?!" Amanda, Christina and Jessica yelled.

"What?" the flute and clarinet players and Jackie said.

"And it gets even better," said Jon, "Katie, Nicole and Meghan, do you know what they say about you guys?"

"They didn't say anything. You're making it up," said Katie.

"They said the band would sound a lot better if the bassoon section didn't honk like seals," said Jon.

"Ha-ha nice try," said Nicole.

"No we didn't," the flutes and clarinets and Jackie said.

"Don't listen to them. You heard what they said about the French horn players," another trumpet player said.

"We never said that! And even if we did we wouldn't say it out loud!" said Erica.

"So it's true then?" Christina yelled angrily.

"Well thinking it and saying it aren't the same thing," said Schellen.

"It doesn't matter!" Jessica yelled.

"This alliance is so over!" Christina yelled. "We'll deal with you later."

"But but but……." the flute and clarinet players and Jackie said.

"And Frenchies I head Meghan, Katie and Nicole talking and they were saying how they used you to get even with the saxophone players," said Jon.

"What?!" the French horn players yelled.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Nicole yelled.

"That's it! We're fighting solo and we're at war with all you guys!" Christina yelled.

"Fine. We'll kick your sorry buts to Canada," Meghan snapped.

"This is excellent," Jon said quietly to the other trumpet players. "Now watch me break another alliance."

"Oh boy," the other trumpet players said happily.

"And do you know what the flutes said about the clarinets?" Jon asked the clarinet players.

"No what?" the clarinet players asked.

"They said that there shouldn't even be a clarinet section cuz half of the clarinets can't play," he said.

"WHAT?" the clarinet players yelled.

"That's right," said Jon. "And flutes the clarinets said pretty much the same thing about you. And Jackie, you don't wanna know what all the sections in the alliance said about you."

The flutes, clarinets, Jackie, the French horns and bassoons started arguing with each other. Within 2 minutes the former allies were all attacking each other. The trumpet players laughed and walked away.

After Mike and the saxophone players lost a brutal battle with the percussionists they confronted Andy and Tim.

"Where were you guys?" Mike snapped.

"What?" said Andy.

"I thought you were our allies. You've never help us in any of our plights. This alliance is over," said Mike.

"That's not fair! We can't fight 2 battles at once," Tim whined.

"Too bad," a saxophone player said.

"Fine. If you won't fight with us, you'll fight against us!" Andy yelled. "DIE LOSERS!"

Andy and Tim charged at the saxophone players and fought a brutal battle.

By the end of the day all the existing alliances were broken and everyone decided it was every section for themselves. It would only be a matter of time before the battle to end all battles to happen.


	35. Battle plans

A/N- two more chapters to go and ones more of an epilogue type thing.

CHAPTER 35- BATTLE PLANS

Shortly after all the alliances were destroyed, the peace status of the band (not that it was good to begin with) went into an even bigger downward spiral. There were many fights between once allied sections on an hourly basis. Instruments were no longer the only things getting damaged. There were always people who walked out of the band room with bumps and bruises and the occasional paper cut (the trombone and baritone players found paper to be a useful weapon and everyone else found out about it and followed their example). Then one day everyone started arguing about which section was the best.

"Tubas all the way!" Andy and Tim declared. "Anyone who says anything otherwise will have an appointment with our tuba bells."

"French horns are better," Christina said.

"No you seem to forget who the best section really is. The trumpets!" Jon yelled. "We ARE the band cuz you only hear us!"

"Yeah right," said Katie. "Bassoons are the best."

"No way. The clarinet section has the most people. We win," Schellen said.

"Well flutes can play higher so that makes us the best," said Karyn.

"Who cares? We have a saxophone god in our section so that makes us the best!" a saxophone player said.

"One good player doesn't make a good section. We have pretty good players so we're the best section," a trombone player said.

"HAHA don't make me laugh!" said Andy.

The trombone players hit Andy with their slides.

"OW!" Andy yelled. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"

"YEAH!" Tim yelled.

They started chasing each other.

"Everyone knows the percussion section is really the best cuz we have class and don't argue. Plus it goes without saying," Pat said to the other percussionists who nodded an agreement.

"How violent," the bass clarinetists commented on the tubas and trombones behavior.

The arguing continued and soon everyone was violently attacking each other (the percussionists joined in because they were bored and Mike had been making fun of them). Mr. Reiderer walked in.

"I need a vacation," he said. "Hey that's a good idea."

He left, and instruments, chairs, percussion equipment, stands, and paper started flying everywhere. Soon the period ended. There wasn't a person in the room who didn't have a bump, bruise or paper cut. But everyone was still angry and wanted to continue fighting to see which section was the best. Scott being the genius of the band had a good idea.

"How about if we fight to the death and the section left standing is the best section?" Scott suggested.

"That's a dumb idea. Let's do it," Andy said. "All of us. Football field. With our instruments. But me and Tim need 24 hours to prepare."

"I think we all do stupid," said Jon.

Andy charged at Jon but Tim held him back.

"Save your energy for tomorrow," he said.

"This is gonna be so easy. Clarinets are so gonna win," said Catherine.

"Don't count on it," said Meghan. "Bassoons will definitely win this one."

"Flutes all the way!" said Erica.

"I think you're forgetting the real competition: the French horns," Amanda said.

"Nah we got this one," the trombone and baritone players said.

"Our saxophone god is immortal," a saxophone player said. "He will lead us to victory."

"Yes I will," said Mike.

"No the percussionists will kick butt!" said Pat.

"We're gonna stay out of this one. Too much violence," the bass clarinetists said.

Everyone exchanged 'you're going down' looks to each other and went to plan for tomorrow's war.

THE FLUTE PLAYERS' (AND JACKIE'S) PLAN

"We're so dead. Everyone's instrument is heavier than ours," said Karyn.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that," the flute players and Jackie said.

They sat in silence thinking about what to do.

"I have an idea!" said Erica. "What if we made our instruments heavier?"

"Duh that's our goal. But how are we gonna pull that off?" another flute player asked.

Karyn came up with an idea.

"What if we got some lead, make a tube and put our instruments in that tube?" Karyn suggested.

"That's a good idea but where can we get lead?" Jackie asked.

"Oh don't worry about that. I have connections," said Karyn.

That flute players and Jackie laughed evilly.

THE CLARINET PLAYERS' PLAN

"We need a plan that full proof!" Catherine said.

"I have an idea!" said Schellen. "We can build a Trojan clarinet and shoot HCl (hydrochloric acid) out of squirt guns and have some people out on the battlefield."

"Two questions: where are we gonna get the HCl and how can we get it in the squirt guns without it eating away at the plastic?" Michelle asked.

"The squirt guns will be easy. We put a lot of soap along the sides of the squirt guns, but you're not gonna like how we get the HCl," said Schellen.

"Oh come on it won't be that bad," another clarinet player said.

"There's only one way we can get it," said Schellen.

"Yeah. E-bay!" said Catherine.

"No too expensive. Plus they don't even sell it on e-bay anyways," said Schellen. "The way we have to do it is free but it involves gagging yourself."

"What…..?" the other clarinet players said.

"There's HCl in your stomach. You have to barf to get it," said Schellen.

"Eeeeeeeew!" all the clarinet players said.

"Good idea but gross," said Michelle. "But seeing as we can't think of anything else let's do it."

So they did.

THE SAXOPHONE PLAYERS' PLAN

"Ok guys. We need a plan of mass destruction to wipe out pretty much everyone but ourselves. So, any ideas?" Mike asked.

"How about we just spray everyone with pepper spray?" one of the saxophone players suggested.

"That's about as effective as spitting on them," another saxophone player said.

"That could work," said Mike. "We build saxophones that have pepper spray fire power and when they get close enough we press the button and spray them in the eyes! Here's how we'll pull this off: we'll attach a can of pepper spray inside of our instruments and figure out how we'll get it to spray."

"Huzzah for the Saxophones of the Round Table!" the saxophone players cheered.

They began working on it immediately.

THE BASSOON PLAYERS' PLAN

"It's really quite simple," said Katie, "all we have to do is fix our Contrabassoon of Doom 3000."

"That is easy," said Meghan. "Will you remember to test it this time?"

"Oh be quiet," said Katie.

"Our radioactive reeds will not fail this time," said Nicole.

"I was thinking about those reeds," said Katie. "If we use them this time we'll get killed along with pretty much everyone else. And if we're lucky enough to survive we'll definitely be looking at cancer a few years later."

"That didn't seem to be a problem before," said Nicole.

"Well before we wanted revenge and didn't really care what happened," said Katie.

"Ok so now what?" said Meghan.

"I went to plan V-C, which stands for plan vasoconstrictor," said Katie.

"Vaso-what?" Meghan and Nicole asked.

Katie pulled out 2 reeds that somewhat resembled darts except with shorter tips and a hole in the middle of the tips.

"These reeds are loaded with a very strong vasoconstrictor. When this reed is shot into someone's skin, the vasoconstrictor will leak out and cause the inner walls of blood vessels to shrink to the point where blood can't get through it so it clots and prevents circulation. And you know what happens when blood doesn't circulate."

"Heart attack! What a painful way to go! Yes that's genius!" said Meghan.

"I know," said Katie. "I can't wait for tomorrow."

THE FRENCH HORN PLAYERS' PLAN

"So anyone have any ideas?" Jessica asked.

"Not right now," said Amanda.

"Yeah we need an idea and it's gotta be a good one," said Christina.

"How about we make paper airplanes that are sharp enough to cause super deep cuts?" Amanda suggested.

"Yes we'll do that. But we need to do something else too. Something with our instruments," said Jessica.

"I got it," said Christina. "We can make grenades that release laughing gas when they explode. We can store them in our instruments for safe keeping so no one steals them. Everyone will be all out of it and walk off a cliff or something and we'll win."  
"Excellent. Where will we get the laughing gas?" Jessica asked.

"I'll take care of that," said Amanda. "My uncle's fiancé's friend's cousin's half brother's girlfriend's friend is a dentist. I'll just borrow some from the office."

"Wow. How long did it take before you could say that flawlessly?" Christina asked.

"I don't know but it took a while," said Amanda.

THE TRUMPET PLAYERS' PLAN

"Ok gang," said Jon, "we're gonna do this and we're gonna do it my way. Anyone who says anything otherwise will be thought of as an enemy."

"Ok," the trumpet players said.

"Now here's what we're gonna do," said Jon. "Nothing special. We will just sneak to the football field early and spread 5 gallons of valve oil on the field. Everyone will be too busy trying to stand up to fight and we will win."

"Yeah but then we'll be slipping and sliding too," another trumpet player said.

"I knew you would say that. Which is why I invented valve oil resistant shoes. There's enough traction on them to stand up and run around in any oil spill," said Jon.

He pulled out a pair of bright red shoes with puke green polka dots and brown stripes.

"Those are the most disgusting shoes I've ever seen in my life. It looks like they were once red and then your dog barfed and crapped on them," one of the trumpet players said.

"First of all I don't have a dog. Second, it would have to take skill to barf in circles and third if you don't like them then don't wear them and I will laugh as you try to stand up tomorrow," said Jon. "I know the shoes look disgusting but the resistance to oil is the best you'll ever find on shoes."

"Those are the only shoes I know of that have it," another trumpet player mumbled.

"I heard that," Jon snapped. "Now put them on so we can test them."

The trumpet players put on the shoes and walked across an oil spill. Like Jon said, the shoes had excellent oil resistance.

"Tomorrow will be awesome," said Jon.

The trumpet players nodded an agreement.

THE TROMBONE/BARIOTNE PLAYERS' PLAN

"What we're gonna do is simple and easy to make," a trombone player said, "we get some metal, make a super sharp blade at one end and attach the other end to our slides. Then when we ram our slides into people they'll get stabbed by the sharp end of the blade."

"What about us?" the baritone players asked, "we don't have slides."

"Just stick to hitting people with your instruments. You guys are strong and you're good at it," another trombone player said.

The baritone players were satisfied with the compliment. Meanwhile the trombone players went to work on their metal. In less than 15 minutes they were done. Their blades were so sharp that merely lightly brushing it with a finger would cause a fairly deep cut.

"Everyone is so dead tomorrow," a trombone player said.

"Heck yes!" the other trombone and baritone players said, punching the air.

THE TUBA PLAYERS' PLAN

"Andy we need to think of something good," said Tim.

"I agree. Let's think," said Andy.

They thought for a good half hour. Tim came up with an idea.

"I got it!" he said.

"Let's hear it. I didn't come up with anything," said Andy.

"We could build a giant tuba with a bell 20ft wide and use it like a vacuum cleaner," said Tim.

"Ok, so we create a powerful suction that will suck people into the tuba and then we deal with them after we win?" said Andy.

"Exactly," said Tim.

"What are we waiting for? Let's get to work. Can we put a huge fan blade type thing in it?" said Andy.

"Nah let's be humane about that. But my plans for torture for the people that get caught in the tuba will make them wish for the fan blade," said Tim.

"Oh goody," said Andy rubbing his hands together. "This will be fun."

THE PERCUSSIONISTS' PLAN

"We've got to use every piece of percussion equipment we've got," said Pat.

"And I have the perfect idea," said Scott.

"Excellent! What is it?"

"Using our percussion equipment and state of the art technology I can create an undefeatable robot. We can pilot it and everything. We could send some people out to fight if we want. But the robot can fight our war for us," said Scott.

"Yeah we can get the robot to fire drum sticks and xylophone keys and piano keys and mallets!" said Lindsay.

"And it should have a laser too. That would be awesome," said Don.

"I love technology! There's no way we can lose now," said Megan.

"Let's get to work. We need to make plans and build it. And we don't have much time," said Pat.

"I think we can pull it off," said Scott.

So they all went to work to build their robot.

THE BASS CLARINETISTS' PLAN

"Let's stick to a plan of nonviolence and neutrality," the bass clarinetists said.

Then they went to get ice cream.

LATER

By the end of the day everyone had their destructive plans all set and ready for action. They all waited excitedly for tomorrow. Then they would find which section was the best section in the band.


End file.
